What Is and What Should Never Be
by Mrs. Hedlund
Summary: Death Sentence: Jenn and Billy had planned to leave Boston together after their senior year. One fight changed all of that making Jenn leave and never look back. Nine years later she returns to Boston and comes face to face with the man she left behind.
1. Chapter 1

The phone on Jenn's nightstand rang several times before it woke her from her dreamless sleep. Her eyes opened slowly as she picked her head up to face her alarm clock. Three forty seven. 'Great.' She thought. She reached over and picked up her phone.

"Hello." She could barely breathe out the word.

"Jennifer. It's Lisa. Listen, its mom she's in the hospital." Jenn could hear the concern in her sisters' voice. Jenn sat up quickly, no longer feeling asleep.

"Why? What happened?"

"I don't know exactly. I moved back last week and everything was fine. She was fine. She was doing her everyday routines, except for today. She told me she thought she was getting a cold but left it at that." Lisa's voice started to quiver. "About thirty minutes ago something woke me up and I heard her gasping for air in the bathroom. I called 911 and now we're here." Lisa stopped talking. Jenn could here her sister making slight noises over the phone, squeaking, as if fighting back tears. "They have her on oxygen and she swears she's fine. She asked me to leave the room while she talked to her doctor that just showed up. I think there's something she isn't telling me. Her doctor came here awfully fast."

"I'm going to go pack. I'll be there soon. I'll take the first flight out." She hung up with her sister and started to fill her suit cases. At four thirty she called her boss and left a message to call her back. She explained the situation and knew she would be able to take off from work as long as she needed. She finished getting ready and headed to her car. She headed to the airport with thoughts flying through her head. What was wrong with her mother? Maybe her mother really didn't know and Lisa was being paranoid.

Jenn arrived at the airport and bought her ticket. Earliest flight was 9:30 am. She would have to wait a couple of hours. Jenn sorted out hidden thoughts that began to peak through her head. She was going back home. A place she hadn't been in nine years. A part of her past that she never planned to visit again. She had seen her mother every holiday and almost ever summer. She had gone to college and landed a good job as an editor at a big publishing company, so she was able to pay for her mothers frequent visits and even for her best friend Emily's scarce ones. How long was she planning on staying in Boston? _I guess until ma's better. _Jenn looked down at her cell phone. She set the alarm for nine o'clock. Jenn didn't want to think about going home anymore. She put her phone in her pants pocket and shut her eyes. She needed the images of _him_ to leave her mind.

Jenn arrived at the airport in Boston at ten fifty. Her sister was waiting for her at the baggage terminal. They drove to her mother's in silence. Jenn wasn't one for small talk with Lisa. She was very opposite from Jenn. She lived a good life and had many good things, material things which made her very happy. Happy enough to stay with a cheating husband for ten years. But now she had moved back home. Her husband liked his girlfriends much more than Lisa and finally decided to divorce her.

They pulled up to her mothers' house. The home she had made so many memories in. She was born in this house and grew up a happy kid. She walked slowly to the front door. It was cold. She hugged herself and fixed the luggage strap on her shoulder. Jenn took a deep breath before entering the house.

"Ma?" Jenn said softly. She didn't know if she was sleeping. The hospital had done some tests and drew some blood then sent Mrs. Henley on her way. Lisa had told her at the airport that she went to her room when they arrived home at eight that morning and she went straight to sleep. Jenn walked in the house and heard her sister shut the front door behind them.

"She's probably still sleeping. The doctor gave her a few prescriptions and we put them in before we came home. She didn't hesitate on taking the pain medication he gave her." Lisa walked into the kitchen and Jenn put her luggage down than followed.

"Why did he give her pain medication?" Jenn sat at the table. Lisa poured Jenn and herself coffee and heated them in the microwave. After they were heated she sat across from her sister.

"Jenn, we need to talk." Lisa said with concern in her eyes.

"What? What did you find out?"

"Ma, well ma's really sick."

"What kind of sick Lisa?" Jenn's eyebrows raised.

"Cancer." Jenn's eyes grew wide and her mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out.

"Jenn, you need to stay for awhile. As long as you possibly can actually."

"How can you know its cancer when you weren't even in the hospital that long?" Jenn's head began to hurt.

"That's why her doctor showed up as fast as he did. She's known about this for months and never told us." Lisa put her head down. "This whole time I'm bitching to mom about my stupid marriage, and she's dying. How selfish am I?" Lisa's eyes began to water and she wiped away a tear that fell down her cheek.

"You're not selfish Lisa. Mom didn't tell you. You know how she is." Jenn drank her coffee. She could tell it was from the day before. It was still good.

"I'll stay as long as I'm needed. My boss called me while I was waiting at the airport and she told me that it was fine. I brought my laptop so I can work from here." Jenn said. She looked up at her sister. She looked older than the last time she had seen her. Her hair was still beautiful and her face was still smooth. But her eyes, they looked older, tired and sad. Jenn wished her and her sister were closer, but they just could never be.

"Good, because I got a job and I start next week. I can't be here with her as much as she needs." Lisa got out of her seat. She placed her cup in the sink and walked back over to Jenn. She stood behind her for a couple of seconds. She leaned down and hesitated before she kissed Jenn's head and told her she had to run to the store. Lisa hadn't kissed her like that in years. Jenn washed the two cups and grabbed her luggage and went to her bedroom. She stood in front of the closed door. Remembering the last moments she spent in that room, and with whom.

_Jenn laid back on her bed and let out an aggravated sigh. Why was he being so difficult? Why was everything so complicated with him? Billy came from a complicated family, but he always tried to be different, more tolerable. Some would say they would never know who his father was unless they were told. He was opposite from every inch of his father. Bones Darley was an abusive, controlling asshole that treated his sons like mistakes, which he let them know they were almost on a daily basis. Billy was good in school, played high school football and kept himself out of trouble. He did everything in his power to get out of the life that he felt was destined for him. Billy was in a grade above her, but they shared mutual friends. When Jenn reached high school Billy asked her to be his girl and then they were inseparable. Jenn kept him on track and Billy loved her in ways she never thought possible. Once graduation came Jenn knew she was getting out of this hell whole town. She applied for NYU and was accepted. Billy hadn't applied anywhere after he graduated so he spent Jenn's senior year working in his father's chop shop. They decided to go to New York together and start their futures. Billy was great with engines and knew everything you needed to know about cars. One good thing his father did, teaching him about cars. Billy figured he could go to some trade school to learn more and maybe someday open up his own shop. Everything was set, their tickets were bought and the time was here. Instead of her smiling on the day she was leaving for New York, she was fighting. Fighting with the only person she ever truly loved._

He called her to tell her they needed to talk. She was waiting for him to come and spend the day with her mother before they left. Instead she was by herself most of the day with knots in her stomach. He was on his way and she knew something was wrong. Jenn sat up quickly as someone knocked on her bedroom door. She ran across the room and pulled the door open. Billy stood there, looking back at her with sadness in his eyes. She grabbed his arm and pulled him in the room, shutting the door behind him.

"What are you doing Billy?" Jenn asked impatiently.

"There's a problem. You have to listen to me before you start flippin' out on me." He put his hands on her arms and pulled his face close to hers. His face was flushed and he was breathing heavy. Small sweat beads formed on his forehead. His blonde hair was sticking out all over under his baseball cap. She almost wanted to laugh at him.

"Billy, our plane leaves in just a few hours. There's no room for problems."

"It's my brother." Billy looked away from her and walked to her bed, slowly sitting on the edge. Jenn walked to him, sitting next to him. She put her hand on his back and began to rub.

"What happened? Is Joe alright?"

"My father caught him in his office taking a gun. The bastard beat him unconscious." Billy's eyes began to water. Something else that differed Billy from his father, Billy had a heart.

"Oh my God Billy, is he ok?"

"He's fine. But Jenn, I can't leave him." Billy looked up into Jenn's eyes. He looked as if he was pleading with her.

"Well…what are you going to do?" Jenn asked slowly. She almost didn't want him to answer. She knew he cared for his brother. Billy was the only father figure Joe had in his life. Billy would die for him and not think twice. Jenn's stomach began to feel sick. She knew what he was going to say and nothing was going to change his mind.

"Maybe…maybe we can leave later. Give me time to figure something out." He put his hand on her face. His eyes were so innocent, so beautiful and full of life. It was hard for Jenn to ever say no to him. But this time was different. She didn't have later; she was already pushing the envelope leaving when she was.

"You know I can't go any later than this. We pushed it till' last minute for your brother, I go any later I'll miss the first week of school."

"Jenn, but you don't understand. I leave he will kill him. He will fucking kill him." Billy stood up and started pacing her bedroom floor. She had seen him like this once before. Joe had stolen money from Bones and disappeared for two days. He went to a hotel with some friends on Bones' tab and drank himself witless. Billy thought he was dead and couldn't sleep. Billy gave Joe a harsh beating when he finally did grace them with his presence.

"Billy, I have to go. I have so many things to do this week to prepare for next weeks classes. This isn't fair Billy. Your brother fucks up again and it affects us. Why do you let him do this?" Billy stopped suddenly and with wide eyes looked at Jenn. She was thrown back by his expression. He looked angry at her.

"You know I'm all he's got. I leave he has no one or nothing. Bones will eat him alive, he'll be sending him on errands and making his deals for him. By the end of the month Bones will have him a full blown drug dealer." Billy came closer to her, his eyes piercing angrily into Jenn's. He spoke threw grinded teeth. "You will not make me choose between you and him. You won't like the choice one bit if you try." His eyes challenged her, but Jenn wasn't one to back down. He was different from his father, he was nice and charming. But one thing his father did pass on to him was his temper. Billy would fly off the handle at any little thing. Breaking things or even some noses if they were close enough.

"I'm leaving with, or without you. I have no choice." Jenn didn't want to fight, but she didn't want him to ruin this for them either. "This is our future we are talking about and if you push it away for your brother, who obviously thinks only of himself, then the past four years have been nothing but a lie." Billy's eyes widened more. His jaw was tightening and his nostrils began to flare. He walked in one quick stride, inches away from her face.

"A lie? You can sit here and look me in the eyes and tell me this…us was all a lie?"

"We have been planning this for over a year, ever since I decided to go to NYU. You knew this day was coming and you wait until the day of to back out. Well I can't back out Billy. I want out of this God forsaken place. I want to make something of myself. We wanted a family and I won't have one here." Jenn was screaming. Billy's eyes began to water and were turning red. His hard expression began to soften and Jenn thought he was going to hold her and tell he was sorry. Instead he kissed her on her lips than put his lips to her ear.

"If you leave today, I swear on everything I love I'm done with you." He whispered. Those words felt like knives stabbing her in her heart. She loved Billy more than any one else ever could love someone. The thought of not being with him made her physically ill. She wasn't angry anymore. Fear had run down her spine like ice water. He kept his face close to hers. He could see her eyes swell up with tears and start to slowly fall out down her cheeks. He watched one as it reached her chin and fell on his hand that he had placed on Jenn's shoulder. He looked back up at her and kissed her cheek. He walked away and opened her bedroom door. Without so much as a glace back to his crying girlfriend he disappeared out of her bedroom door. She could hear his heavy footsteps walking down the long hallway and then going quickly down the stairs. She stood there paralyzed by his words. Jenn had never heard that tone from him before. She slowly walked to her bedroom door and closed it. He couldn't be serious. He wouldn't leave her for following her dreams. She couldn't stay and wouldn't stay. He could always come to New York after he figured out what to do with his brother. Jenn reached for her phone and dialed Billy's cell phone. It rang twice before Billy picked up.

"I'm leaving." Was all she could say.

"Good bye Jenn. I love you but I can't go with you." There was silence which felt like eternity to Jenn. She didn't believe him. He was just mad. "I will never love anyone the way I love you." Jenn looked at her phone realizing Billy had hung up. She dialed his number again, but it went straight to voicemail. For the next five hours Jenn called him constantly, leaving him a message every time.

"Come on, Ma's waiting in the car." Lisa came into the kitchen to check the stove one last time before they left. She looked over to Jenn who was sitting at the table holding the cordless phone and staring at the wall.

"Do you think he's serious?" Jenn asked.

"I think he's mad. But I know how much you mean to him, so just give him time." Lisa headed towards the front door. "Jenn, seriously your going to miss your flight than it won't matter if he's serious or not because you'll be here with him."

"One more time. Let me try him one more time." Jenn pressed redial on the phone and listened. His voicemail again.

"Billy, it's me…again. I have to go before I miss my flight. I can't wait for you to decide what you want to do, and I can't…no I won't believe those words you said. I know you love me and I love you just the same. I will wait for you to come to New York. I will wait forever if I have to. Just know I love you and I'm not leaving to spite you, I'm leaving because my future is there. I left all my information with my mother so when you're ready call me. When you're done here, come be with me. I love you Billy. Always and forever." Jenn hung up the phone and placed it slowly on the table. She got up and grabbed her bag. She walked out of the house and never looked back.

Jenn opened her bedroom door. It looked exactly how it did that day nine years ago. She placed her luggage on the floor and sat on her bed. She could almost still smell him. Jenn shook her head lightly to erase the thoughts. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Emily's number.

"Hello."

"Hey Em. It's me."

"Jenn, hey sweetie. How are you? How's New York?" Emily laughed.

"I wouldn't know."

"Why not? Where are you?"

"At my mom's."

"Oh my God you're in town?" Emily screamed. It had been over a year since she had seen Emily.

"Yeah, not by choice though. My sister called me early this morning telling me my mother is really sick, so I took the first plane in." Jenn missed her friend. Their friendship began the first day of kindergarten. Emily fell at lunch and Jenn helped her to the nurse's office. The nurse had told her to go back to lunch but Emily had started to cry asking if she could stay with her. When Emily's mother came to pick her up she told her that Jenn was her best friend.

"Jenn, I had no idea. I see your mom all the time. She always looks fine. It must be bad if you came back." Emily knew Jenn had never had intensions of coming back to Boston. Not ever.

"Well, I'm really not sure yet." Jenn lied. No need to get Emily worried when she wasn't even sure of what was happening yet.

"I'm sure you're busy, but do you think we can get together before you leave?" Emily asked.

"Of course! You think I would come back and not see my best friend. We'll plan something later. I just wanted to call you to let you know I'm here. I'm gonna go unpack and see how my mother is. I'll give you a call tonight."

"I'm working tonight, but I go in late, so try to call me before nine."

"Where are you working that you're going in that late?

"You're never gonna believe it. I started working at The Four Roses about a month ago. The pharmacy started laying people off so I needed a job A.S.A.P. The new bar tender Sammy, he was in need for a new waitress, so I figured what the hell. Pays pretty well. Not as good as the pharmacy, but there are nights where I make pretty good tips." Jenn started to laugh. She couldn't believe Emily was working at the place they had their first drinks. The one place they all hung out and had the most fun. Their friend Bodie's uncle had owned the place and as long as they kept their mouths shut about ever being there, they could drink under age all they wanted.

"Hey, it's a job."

"Just for now. When I'm done with school I'll get a better job."

"Ok, I'm gonna go. I love you and I'll call you tonight." Jenn and Emily said good bye and Jenn hung up the phone. She took her jacket off and walked out of her room down the hall to her mother's room. She slowly opened the door and looked in. Her mother was no longer sleeping. She was sitting up on her bed reading a book. Jenn looked at her mother and smiled. She was the most beautiful person she ever knew. She was kind and full of love.

"How are you feeling?" Jenn asked as she walked to her mother's bed. Mrs. Henley was a tall woman with brown hair and brown eyes. She was thin and beautiful and had a smile filled with perfect white teeth. Jenn was her mother spitting image.

"Jennifer. Sweet heart, come sit." Mrs. Henley moved over to middle of the bed to make room for her daughter.

"Hi mom." Jenn sat down close to her mother. She looked into her eyes. "Why didn't you tell us?" Jenn's eyes began to water. "It should have been easy to tell us."

"Oh, Jennifer, that question is more complicated to answer than you know." Mrs. Henley grabbed her daughter's chin and pulled her face close to hers. "You moved away a long time ago and haven't been back. You never wanted to come back and trust me I remember why. I didn't want you to know and come back here, especially when I wasn't sure what was happening yet." Jenn's eyebrows narrowed and she pulled her face away from her mother.

"You didn't tell me you were _dying_ so I didn't have to come back here and see Billy?" Her voice was raised.

"That's not entirely it. I just didn't see the point of you getting upset about something I wasn't sure about yet, and then seeing Billy on top of that."

"I'm a big girl mom, I can handle seeing Billy, but this," she pointed at her mother. "This is just so stupid. For once in your life think of yourself. Stop trying to protect us all the time." Jenn's stomach was in knots. Her mother had, there whole lives been trying to shield them from the horrible things the world brings. She would suffer to make sure they didn't feel an ounce of pain. But this time it was too much.

"I'm sorry, your right. I should have told you girls sooner." Jenn grabbed her mother into a tight hug.

"We will get through this together. I will make sure you get better." Jenn's eyes watered but she couldn't let her mother see. She held her close until the wetness in her eyes dried.

* * *

  
Jenn climbed out of bed and headed into her mother's room. She opened the door slowly and peaked her head in. She watched for a few seconds as her mother slept. Slowly she closed the door and headed down the stairs. Coffee was the only thing on her mind. She could smell the freshly brewed drug she needed every morning to function. Jenn had called Emily before nine like planned. They talked for awhile before Emily had to leave for work. The Four Roses was on her mind all night making her dream of the past fun they had there. She grabbed her coffee and walked out the front door. The cold air wrapped around her like an ice blanket. She had taken up smoking a few years back and tried to quick ever since.

"Those things are gross." Lisa said as she walked up the walkway.

"Yes," Jenn said before inhaling a deep drag from her cigarette. "Yes, they are." she smiled as she blew the white smoke in the air. Her sister laughed as she shook her head and walked into the house. Jenn finished her cigarette and joined her sister at the kitchen table.

"So where were you?" Jenn asked after drinking some of her coffee.

"Had to see my new boss. Had some paper work to fill out. How's mom?" Lisa asked.

"Sleeping."

"Good. So, what are you plans for today?" Jenn hadn't really thought of what she would be doing to pass her time now that she was back. She wanted to stay with her mother as much as possible but she knew her mother wouldn't have that. She was set in her ways with certain things and doing things on her own was one of them.

"Well, actually I thought maybe I would go see Emily."

"That's good. I'm taking mom to her friends house today to tell her "the news". Want to come with us?" Lisa asked almost hoping she would say yes.

"Ah, no. I really don't need to see that emotional moment when mom tells someone what's going on. Your better at that shit." Lisa was better. When their father died when they were both young, Lisa 12 and Jenn 9, she had went with their mother to her friends house to tell them the bad news, while Jenn sat home with their grandmother trying to ignore the entire situation.

"Fine," She said as she climbed to her feet. "I'm going to wake mom." Jenn smiled as she watched her sister pout her way down the hall. Going to see Emily wasn't really something she wanted to do. Being out in public, chancing herself to bump into Billy was something she wanted to avoid. It had been a long time since she had seen him or even spoken to him. After she moved to New York she tried to call him for weeks. He never answered his phone leaving Jenn depressed and unfocused. Finally she gave up trying thinking eventually he would come around. Eventually he would realize he was making a mistake. Every phone call she would get or knock at the door for years would send that excited nervous bolt through her stomach, every time thinking it was Billy. But not once was it him. He had thrown away their relationship, their future together to protect his brother.

She had asked Emily several times throughout the years how Billy was doing. Emily each time would tell her not to do this to herself. Let him go, he wasn't worth it. But he was worth it to her. Every inch of her wanted to get on a plane and run back into the arms of the only man she ever loved. But after awhile the saying 'out of sight, out of mind' had been true with her. She always thought of him, even up until recently. But it didn't hurt anymore. The pain had stopped. Now back in Boston, the one place she vowed never to return to, she knew seeing him would most likely be inevitable. Even going to the local convenient store would raise the chances of their meeting. Emily was her best friend and she needed to see a familiar face. One she wouldn't have an ounce of hatred for.

Jenn rose to her feet and headed to her room. She needed a shower. As she passed her mothers room she could hear her sister pleading with her mother not to go break any news to anyone until they knew more about her condition. Jenn's mother told Lisa to stay home and leave her be. Jenn smiled again knowing her sister must be pouting again.

After a really long shower and a blow dry Jenn went back to her room to get dressed. She was naturally pretty and didn't need makeup. Her long brown hair fell down her back in thick waves. Her every day attire mainly consisted of dress pants and sweaters. But now that work was over 200 miles away she could relax and dress a little more comfortably. She threw on a pair of jeans and a fitted t-shirt that read Harley Davidson across the chest. She slipped on a pair of shoes and grabbed her denim jacket then headed downstairs. Her sister was putting her jacket on at the front door when she spotted Jenn coming down the stairs.

"Last chance," Her sister said smiling at Jenn. "Come on, it'll be fun watching mom and her friend cry together. Then they'll whip out the photo albums from past 20 years and then cry some more."

"I told you to stay home. I am perfectly capable of going to see my friend on my own." Mrs. Henley said as she grabbed her purse. She looked up at Jenn who had stopped on the last step. "Where are you headed dear?"

"I thought I would drop by Emily's. Maybe go get something to eat. Go to the mall. Anything really."

"You have no car, how are you getting around?" Jenn smiled her same smile she used every time she needed her mothers car. Mrs. Henley gave her a big smile back.

"Of course Hun, take mommy's car. Your sister is driving anyway." Mrs. Henley grabbed a set of keys off the key hook and handed them to Jenn. Lisa walked out into the chilly air, their mother and Jenn following. "Are you sure you want to roam around Jennifer?"

"Mom, I have said this already. I'm a big girl. If I bump into him I can handle it." Jenn sighed as she opened the drivers side door. She looked over at her mother and sister. "It's been almost 10 years. I'm sure he's happy and married somewhere. Maybe even with a few kids. I'll be home later." Jenn jumped in the car and started it. She pulled out of the driveway waving to her mother and sister as they stood watching her.

"You didn't tell her?" Lisa asked her mother, still watching Jenn as she drove down the block.

"No. She'll find out on her own soon enough." Mrs. Henley sighed as she also watched Jenn.

"Well lets hope she finds out from a distance." Lisa said worry now flowing through her stomach. They climbed into the car and drove off.

* * *

  
Jenn drove into the city where she knew Emily's new apartment was. After losing her job she had told her that bills had become too overwhelming and she had to move out of the house she rented. When money was becoming more of an issue she moved into the apartment buildings not far from The Four Roses. They were cheap and close to work. Jenn grabbed her bag, her hand fumbling through it trying to find the new pack of cigarettes she threw in before she left. Once she found it she packed the on the steering wheel. A song she hadn't heard in forever played on the radio. She turned it up bobbing her head singing to the words as placed a cigarette in her mouth. She hated these things but couldn't part with them. Not yet anyway. Twenty minutes later she was parking her car in the rundown parking lot in front of Emily's building. It was getting even more weird being back.

It didn't take long to find her door. She knocked several times before someone finally answered. A guy half naked with tattoos on his neck and a badly done Mohawk was looking back at her. His eyes looked her up and down as he leaned his arm against the open door. A sly smile crept on his lips.

"And what can I do you for?" He asked. Jenn wasn't one to get nervous around guys like these. He was confident, that she could tell, but he seemed like one of those bad ass guys that robbed or sold drugs. Leave it to Emily to be sharing her bed with him.

"Is Emily here?' Jenn asked smirking back at the man. His eyes were heavy and he looked like he was high. He just stared at her, that same smile on his face. Jenn crossed her arms over her chest as her patience was wearing thin. "Is she here or not?" Jenn's tone clearly showed her annoyance.

"Maybe she is," he started. "And, maybe she isn't." he leaned a bit closer to her. She could smell the booze jumping from his mouth. She waved her fingers in front of her nose trying to weaken the smell. He saw this and that grin he wore so well had faded. He looked annoyed himself.

"Who is it Baggy?" She could hear Emily yell. Jenn smiled at the man.

"Baggy?" She gave a chuckle. "What kind of name is Baggy?" This Baggy just stared at her. The door Baggy was leaning on was now pushed completely open. Emily pushed him out of the way, a big smile across her face as she looked back at Jenn.

"Jennifer!" She yelled. She grabbed Jenn hugging her tight. "What are you doing here?" Jenn pulled away and smiled at her friend.

"Well, I just wanted to see you." Emily smiled and grabbed Jenn's arm dragging her into the apartment. She didn't mean to but she couldn't help looking around as she was being pulled to a couch. It wasn't like Emily to live in a place like this. She used to be very girly and even more clean. This place was in simple terms, a dump. It was almost like a studio apartment except there was a small hall off the living room that from what she could tell had a bathroom and a bedroom off of it. The tiny kitchen area, if you could even call it that was filled with open boxes of different foods. A small refrigerator that hadn't been cleaned in months stood in the middle. A few cabinets that were falling apart were on either side. The living room had a small broken couch that Jenn was almost afraid to sit on. She didn't want to be the one that ended it's life. A small old tv sat across from the couch on a crate. A beat up old coffee table that she is certain she must have found in the trash sat in between. Jenn slowly sat down next to Emily and smiled.

"Sorry about how this place looks. I could imagine what your thinking." As if she read her mind.

"No," she shook her head. "The place is fine." She lied. Jenn looked at her friend. She looked the same from the last time she had seen her. Her blond hair grew a bit but she was still the same. Her blue eyes gleamed just as they always did. Her cute perfect smile flashed beautifully at her. Jenn was so happy to be close to her again. She missed her more then she even knew.

'I know your lying, its ok. This is just temporary like I told you." Baggy cleared his throat as he pulled a folding chair over to the couch. Emily rolled her eyes knowing he was looking for some kind of attention.

"I believe you've met Baggy." Jenn looked behind her and smiled. This baggy guy wasn't half bad looking. He just had no clue how to act. Or how to get his hair cut.

"Yes I have." Jenn said as she looked back a Emily. "Is he your," Jenn widened her eyes trying not to finish the sentence. Emily narrowed her eyes until she realized what Jenn was asking.

"Oh God no!" Emily said with exaggeration. "He needed a place to crash so I let him stay here," She looked over at Baggy who was still eyeing Jenn. "But he was just leaving." Baggy huffed as he rose to his feet. He grabbed his clothes that were thrown on the floor. He dressed in front of them quickly.

"Later Em," Baggy said as he looked down at Jenn. "And you, definitely hope to see you later." He winked before he walked out of the apartment.

"Ew." Jenn said as she looked back at Emily. Emily busted out laughing as she rose to her feet.

"He's got his eyes on you." She grabbed her coat and headed for the door, Jenn following.

"Great. Where did you meet him?" Jenn walked out of the apartment and waited for Emily to lock up. Why she bothered to lock the door was a mystery to her. Nothing of value was in that apartment. Something else that was so not like Emily. She loved to shop and have more then she needed.

"The Four Roses." Emily smiled. She wrapped her arm around Jenn's as they walked out of the apartment building. "A new bread has taken over the place. You wouldn't believe it even if you seen it." As they reached the parking lot Emily looked at the entrance seeing a black mustang make a sharp right onto the street. She sighed with relief to herself.

"So what are we doing?" Jenn asked as she opened her car doors. The two girls climbed in.

"Anything you want to do. I'm off tonight so I'm free all day." Jenn started the car and drove out of the parking lot. There was only one place she really wanted to be. Something her and Emily made a point to do every Saturday when they were in high school. Shopping.

"Well I think we should do our old routine." Emily smiled knowing exactly what she meant.

"Good, then we can go out to eat after." Emily said. For the first time since she arrived back she felt content. Comfortable with even being back. She knew that Emily would be the one to make that happen. Unfortunately, no matter how hard she tried Billy's face kept popping up in her head. Apart of her was hoping to see him while another part didn't want to know anything. She just hoped that he was happy.


	2. Chapter 2

"I had a great day." Emily said as Jenn pulled up in front of her apartment building. They had spent almost the entire day at the mall. Then like old times they went to a great restaurant to eat. After they were done neither wanted to go home so they went to see the latest movie that was out. It felt like old times. Jenn was living a very stiff life back in New York. Everything was work and nothing was about fun. She didn't have many friends and a part of her liked it that way. But now, sitting here with Emily she was happy she had this one.

"I had a great time too. We need to do it as much as possible." Both girls agreed that while Jenn was in town they would see as much as possible of one another. "So, being your off tonight how about we go out. Maybe go to a bar or whatever." Emily's smile dropped knowing the disappointment she was about to give. She had just agreed on spending as much time as possible and now here she was about to tell her friend she wasn't free to see her.

"Tonight?" Emily bit her lip which Jenn knew as something she did when she didn't know what to say. "Well, I actually have a date tonight."

"It's ok," Jenn laughed. "You had prior plans before I decided to show up. It's ok." Jenn was always the most understanding person Emily had ever met.

"But we will definitely do something tomorrow night. I'll switch my shift." Emily smiled and gave her friend a kiss on her cheek. She climbed out of the car and ran to her building. Jenn watched as her friend disappeared into the run down building. She drove home in silence, smoking as many cigarettes as possible before she reached her mothers house. This day was something she needed. Kicking back with an old friend in a familiar place. Even though she sworn she would never come back, this was helping her any bad feelings she was having. For the first time since she arrived Billy had escaped her mind for awhile, letting her enjoy being back home. Something she never thought would be possible.

After Jenn arrived home she was becoming uneasy. Being out with Emily again was giving her the old feelings she used to love. Never wanting to be home. Always wanting to be out, partying and having fun. She knew this wasn't a vacation, but something more serious. But it didn't mean she couldn't have a little fun during her stay. She walked up the stairs headed to her room she stopped at her mothers door. She was sitting on her bed watching TV and knitting. Jenn watched her mother as she laughed at a show she was watching. Her smile was beautiful. Pains tightened in her chest thinking of the inevitable. How could she survive if her mother died. Her stomach began to turn thinking about it. She needed to be near her, to hold her. She pushed her door open and walked straight to he mother's bed. She laid down next to her putting her arms around her. Mrs. Henley looked down at her daughter, surprise on her face. She put her arms around her daughter comforting her from whatever pain she was feeling.

"Jennifer, my love what happened?" Her mother asked concern in her voice. Jenn hugged her mother tighter closing her eyes, breathing in that familiar scent of beauty.

"I love you mom," she whispered. "I just love you so much."

"Did something happen?" her mother asked pulling Jenn's face up to hers. Jenn smiled looking deep into her Goddesses eyes.

"No mom. Nothing happened. I just love you and I need you to know that."

"Jennifer, I know how much you love me. You don't have to tell me." she kissed her daughters forehead. Jenn rose from her moms bed and walked to the door. She looked back at her mother an smiled.

"I had a great day today, I guess I don't want it to end so I'm going to go out tonight."

"Oh, with Emily?"

"No, Em has a date tonight. But I think I will head out to The Four Roses." Mrs. Henley's eyes widened. That was not a good place for her to be.

"Well, why would you go there?" She laughed uncomfortably. She couldn't tell her daughter, but she didn't want her there. She didn't want her heart to be broken all over again. She knew who went there on a regular basis. Who practically ran the place. It was his territory, as was half of the city.

"It was a place we loved to go once upon a time. Figured I would check it out for awhile. I won't be home late. I love you." Jenn didn't let her mother try to protest her leaving. Her mother was a worry wart but didn't like to express it. You just knew what she was thinking by the wide eyed expression and fake smile she wore.

Jenn wasn't sure how the place looked now or how the people occupying it looked. But she was curious to see what Emily was talking about. She freshened her make up and dressed into something a bit more dressy then her t-shirt and jeans. The jeans idea she kept, throwing on a fresh pair of dark stone washed jeans. She dressed in a long light pink tank top with a brown fitted long sleeved shirt over it. She unbuttoned all the buttons showing off her low tank top and maybe just a little bit of skin. She slipped on a pair of slipper shoes and grabbed her pea coat and bag. She headed to her mothers room again letting her know her cell was on and she would be back later.

Lisa was sitting in the living room watching a movie when she walked down the stairs. She looked up at her and sighed.

"Now where are you going?" Lisa asked.

"Going out. Maybe I'll get lucky tonight." Jenn joked giving her sister her seductive eyes. Lisa laughed. "Wanna come?"

"Ha! I am so sure I don't want to go anywhere you go. I'm too old." Lisa said putting her attention back to her movie.

"Li, your almost 4 years older then me. If your old what does that make me?" Jenn asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"Twenty seven." Lisa said flatly. Jenn laughed as she turned to open the door. "If you change your mind call me. I'll come back and get you." Lisa nodded her head and sighed. The last thing she ever planned on doing after having to move back in with mom was going out and getting drunk. Her divorce was just recently finalized. Unlike her bastard husband she was not ready to be with anyone else. Not yet anyway.

* * *

Jenn drove up to The Four Roses parking lot and found a spot right away. This surprised her for when she was a regular there was never a place to park. It was always packed with kids her own age or people 3 times her age. It was a great time she had and she couldn't' think of anywhere else to be. She walked up to the doors and opened them sending a cloud of smoke into her face. Ah, the wonderful smell of stale smoke for others cigarettes. It made her crave a cigarette of her own. She glanced around quick as she made her way to the bar. It still looked the same, just much, much dirtier. A Spanish man was wiping off the counter as placed her coat on the chair. As she sat down the man caught glimpse of her. He made his way to her eyeing her and licking his lips. He leaned over the counter, his sweaty forehead glowing from the lights above.

"What can I get for you?" He asked in a heavy Spanish accent. Jenn smiled knowing he was just a typical pathetic man trying to hit on the first girl he saw.

"I'll have a beer. A Bud preferably. In a bottle." She said staring right back at him. He eyed her some more before he turned to get her order. He placed the cold beer in front of her, popping the top he smiled again.

"So what brings a pretty thing like you to a shit hole like this?" He asked.

"How much?" She nodded to the beer, avoiding his question.

"Not a talker ah. For you," he started to walk away. "First drink on the house."

"Thank you." She watched as the man went back to cleaning the counters and filling the bar. Jenn looked around as she drank her beer. There was several men at the bar with her silently drinking their worries away. There was loud music coming from the juke box in the back. She tried to see the people at the tables but the smoke was thick and the lighting was poor. The pictures that hung on the walls where the same except for a few differences in prices. It didn't feel how it did when she was younger. It was more cold and much more silent. The fun they had at this small bar was something she would remember forever.

Memories started to plague her mind. She didn't want to be sad tonight, she just wanted to relax and maybe have a good time. She scanned the bar again her attention back to the table filled with faces people. Someone started to laugh and talk loud. The voice sounded familiar. Not a voice she was too used to but definitely a voice she had heard before. A voice she had heard for the first time earlier that day. She squinted her eyes trying to see through the smoke that filled the table. The long blond hair gleaming from the over head light is was caught Jenn's attention enough to straighten herself up and lean just a little more to the back.

"Son of a bitch," Jenn said as she climbed off the stool and walked quickly to the back of the bar. She stood at the table looking down at Emily who was too drunk to notice her friend. Baggy was the first to see her. He smiled and elbowed Emily trying to get her attention.

"You didn't tell me your friend was coming." Baggy said. Emily brought her attention to Baggy, her eyes narrowing at him.

"What are you talking about?" She said. She followed his gaze her mouth dropping when she realized who he was talking about. "Jenn,"

"Some date." Jenn spat. Emily lied to her. Flat out lied. Why didn't she want her to come out with her?

"Jenn, what are you doing here?" Emily asked trying to get out of the booth she was trapped in. She started pushing the guy next to her, telling him to move. She called him Tommy, but he didn't even budge. She pushed Baggy begging him to get up. He sighed but let her out. Emily stood in front of Jenn her eyes pleading with her.

"Well, you were going out on a date, and I didn't want to sit in. So what best place to go to other then the only place I ever really knew." Emily grabbed Jenn's hand pulling her away from prying ears. Jenn followed her without hesitation back to her seat.

"You shouldn't be here." Emily stated. Jenn noticed the uncomfortable vibe Emily was giving right away. Her eyes were looking from the front door to Jenn.

"Why shouldn't I be here?"

"Jenn please, I'm begging you. Just leave. I'll leave with you." Emily grabbed Jenn's coat then Jenn's are and started for the door. Jenn pulled away shaking her head.

"What's your problem?" Jenn demanded. She didn't like the look Emily had and didn't appreciate being told to leave. Emily ran her hands threw her hair quickly. A nervous condition she had since a child. "Tell me, now Em." Emily sighed and stood closer to her.

"He'll be here any minute." She whispered. Jenn knew who the "he" was that she was referring to. A nervous feeling crept her entire body. Was she really going to see Billy? What would she say? How would she act? How would he react to seeing her?

"So what?" She said trying her hardest not show interest.

"Jenn, listen you don't understand."

"No I understand and I don't care. I'm a big girl Em. I think I can handle seeing Billy again." She said as she sat back down. She grabbed her beer taking a long drink.

"Jenn, please" Emily stood next to her. Her eyes were intense. "You really should leave." Jenn shook her head avoiding eye contact with her. "You don't get it, Billy isn't what you remember him to be. He's not the same person you left nine years ago. He's different." Jenn looked over at her friend her eyes letting her know she wasn't leaving. She drew her attention back to her drink. She waved the bartender down asking him for another. Emily's frightened look was now stern.

"Fine!" She leaned closer to her friend. "Don't say I didn't warn you." Jenn watched as Emily made her way back to her table. What was her problem? How different could he be? The doors to The Four Roses opened spilling in a group of men. She glanced behind her to her left watching them make their way past her to the back of the bar. The last guy made her heart stop. He was tall, slightly stocky and bald. His long brown trench coat moved with him as he walked. She could see tattoos creeping up his neck. He had a cigarette dangling from his mouth his eyes squinted from the smoke that rose up from it. His walk was hard and tuff as was his look. He had a goatee that made him look more rugged. She watched him from the corner of her eye, her breathing intense. He hadn't noticed her as she looked to the right, her eyes following his every move.

"Move the fuck over." He demanded Baggy. The men at the table change their expression as he walked to them. Now they looked scared as they moved to let him sit. Emily shot quick glances at Jenn. Her eyes pleading with her to leave. Jenn's mouth was still dropped as her eyes couldn't leave the man. He took his coat off,. A fitted black t-shirt showed the rest of the tattoos Jenn saw on his neck. The black tribal crept down both of his arms to his wrists. Jenn's eyes started to water bringing her back to reality. She blinked them quickly looking at the new beer the bartender at left her. She felt like she was going to have a panic attack.

"Who's the skirt?" The man said nodding at Jenn at the bar. He couldn't see her face but he liked what little he could see of her.

"Nobody." Emily snapped. She looked into his eyes trying to keep him focused on her. "Never seen her before." Baggy narrowed his eyes at Emily. Why was she lying to him?

"Don't be jealous Em." The man said.

"I'm far from jealous." She spat.

"Isn't she your friend?" Baggy asked. Emily shot him a nasty look.

"No, you much be mistaken. Your probably thinking of someone else." She hissed.

"Well," the man said as he stood up. "I need a drink and, maybe she'll be _my _friend." He smirked making the men at the table laugh. He made his way to the bar standing next to Jenn.

"Sammy, a bottle of Jack, some shot glasses." He demanded. The bartender nodded his head and reached for an un-opened bottle. He placed it on the counter and smirked. Jenn's entire body was tense as he stood close to her. His voice sent shivers down her body. He lit another cigarette blowing the smoke past her.

"So, what's your name?" He asked. Jenn ignored him. He looked up at Sammy his eyes narrowed. "What's wrong with this bitch?" he nodded towards her. Sammy shrugged his shoulders as he laughed.

"Maybe she's shy." Sammy quipped.

"Maybe," he said leaning closer to her. "No need to be shy around me." They both laughed. "We can be friends." He laughed looking over at Sammy then back at Jenn. "I always have room for new friends." Jenn grew the courage to face him.

"Well, we wouldn't be called _new _friends, now would we Billy." She said as she turned to face him. The smirk he wore was quickly dropped when he looked back at the mysterious girl. His eyes widened, his lips pursed, his nostrils flaring as he began to breath heavy. They looked at each other for what seemed forever until Billy slammed his hand on the counter letting out a frustrated growl. He stormed out of the bar slamming the door open. The place grew quiet as everyone stared at the door. Jenn was trying everything not to cry. That was not Billy. Who was that man?

"What the fuck was that about?" Baggy asked Emily. Her eyes watered as she looked over at her friend. She tried to warn her.

"That's Billy's ex-girlfriend." She whispered.

"What?" Joe said as he walked out of the bathroom. "Jenn's here?" He looked around the bar seeing a dark haired girl sitting on a stool staring at her drink. A smile grew on his face as he looked at the only person that was ever right in his and his brothers lives.

"I'll be fuckin' damned." Bodie said as he stood up. He walked over to Jenn putting his hand on her shoulder. She turned around quickly her eyes red.

"Bodie?" She asked as she stood up. They wrapped their arms around each other in a tight embrace. Bodie was Billy's best friend growing up. Unfortunately he was on the same path Billy and Joe were. While they were in high school Bodie played football with Billy, following his desperate attempt at not being his dad. Bodie's father worked for Bones and died when they were younger. No one knows the real reason he died, but deep down they always knew Bones was responsible.

"My God Jenn. How long has it been?' He showed that handsome smile.

"Nine years." She said trying her hardest not to cry. Seeing Billy after all those years was hard enough. But to look in the eyes of a man who she no longer knew, was even worse.

* * *

Billy sat in his car his eyes watering from his anger. His grip was tight on the steering wheel making the rubber coating squeak. His head was slightly down, his eyes fixed on the door to The Four Roses. He tried everything to control his breathing, trying his hardest to calm down. The street light illuminated half of his face, the other half hidden from the shadows giving his face a eerie menacing look. He still didn't believe what he saw.

She was never coming back. Her letters told him time and time again she was done with this place and she was never to return. Then why was she there in _his _bar? Memories of their past flashed in his mind like a movie. Her laughing and smiling. Him, happy and in love. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. He wanted those images gone. She left him, and he was a different man because of it.

He violently shook the steering wheel. A deep growl escaped his throat. He wanted to break everything around him, to let his nine years worth of frustration out at that moment. He kicked he screamed he punched, but nothing was making him feel better. He needed her gone, far away. Back to where she came. The further she was from him the less it hurt. His head was burning and his anger was getting strong again. He grabbed the door handle and pushed the door open slamming it behind him. He was going to make sure she left.

He broke into a jog until he reached the door. Grabbing the knob he flung it open making the door crash against the outside wall. Is eyes angrily scanned the room. She wasn't at the bar anymore, her things no longer there either. He looked to the back of the bar where he could see his men looking back at him, fear and wonder in their eyes. Jenn walked past them putting her coat on, not noticing the mad man staring at her from across the room. She walked past Emily and the rest of them giving them all a small smile as she made her way to the door. She stopped suddenly, her eyes meeting Billy's. Before she could protest he grabbed her arm, his grip tight as he pulled her outside. He dragged her to her mother's car stopping by the drivers side door.

"I want you gone, and never show your face here again." He hissed through clenched teeth. She looked up at him her eyes sad, and filled with fear. He started leaning closer to her. Jenn's stomach was in knots. Her heart racing. This was the first time she was ever afraid of him. Jenn's eyes scanned his face. She noticed the scars right away. She didn't want to know how he got them or who gave them to him. He was a completely different person then he was before she left. That boyish charm was gone. The love he always showed, gone.

"Billy," her eyes swelled up with tears as she said his name. "What have you done to yourself?" Her voice a mere whisper. Billy was taken off guard by her words. He widened his eyes as he took a step back from her. He needed her to leave before he did something he knew he would regret.

"Go home." He spat. She took her eyes off of him and opened the car door. She quickly climbed in and started the car. This was not how she expected their first meeting to be. But this wasn't the man she was expecting to see either. Billy watched as she drove out of the parking lot. He grabbed his cigarettes from his pocket and lit one. He inhaled deeply as he threw his head back. His eyes closed, his breathing became steady. He needed a drink and anything else he could get his hands on to make this pain go away.

* * *

Jenn walked into her mother's house quietly. She didn't realize how late it was. Her sister was sleeping on the couch with the TV still on. Jenn walked slowly to her, touching her shoulder she nudged her to wake up.

"Lisa, its late go to bed." Lisa opened her eyes, slowly she sat up.

"What time is it?" Lisa asked as she yawned and stretched.

"Late." Jenn said as she walked into the kitchen. Lisa watched as her sister disappeared down the hall. She rose to her feet, pulled her robe tighter over her chest and walked into the kitchen. Jenn sat at the table staring at the wall. Her coat was still on and her bag was dangling from her hand barely touching the floor. She could tell she had been crying and suddenly she knew why.

"Oh my God, you saw him?" Lisa asked sitting down next to her sister. Jenn slowly turned her head her eyes questioning her.

"What?" Had she heard her right? It was if the pain across her face could only have been caused by one person.

"Billy," she said her voice filled with concern. "you saw him didn't you?" Lisa grabbed her sister's arm giving her a sympathetic look. Her eyes began to water again as she thought about how horrible Billy had become.

"I'm not feeling well. I'm going to bed." Jenn didn't give her sister a chance to talk as she quickly made her way up the stairs and into her room. She ripped her coat off and undressed quickly throwing on a t-shirt and sweat shorts, she jumped into bed. Wrapping the covers tightly around herself she cried herself to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The room was cold, and smelt of disinfectant. Jenn looked around, an uncomfortable feeling creeping through her. She hated doctors offices and hated hospitals. She sat on a chair, her legs crossed as she looked around. Her sister paced the floor checking her watch ever few seconds huffing when to her surprise time had hardly passed. Her mother sat patiently, almost smiling as she looked around the room. She was humming some song Jenn didn't recognize. Her back was straight, her hands clasped into one another, her legs crossed at the ankles. Jenn would have been a nervous wreck if she was sitting there, but here her mother was looking as if she was sitting in a movie theater waiting patiently for the movie to begin.

"Jesus Christ!" Lisa exploded. "Where in God's name is this asshole doctor?" She stopped in the middle of the room. Her foot hitting the floor like a child who wasn't getting their way.

"Lisa Elizabeth!" Her mother said sternly. She only used their first and middle names when she was upset and this was the first time today she had seen her upset. "You will not take the lords name in vain, not in my presence. Especially not here!" Lisa sighed deeply and turned from her mothers stern expression.

"Mom, we've been sitting here for almost an hour. Why would he want you to come in when he did if he wasn't ready for you?" Jenn asked, agreeing with her sisters impatience. Mrs. Henley sighed.

"He has my test results back and I have two other tests to take today. They need to know if I am going to need surgery or if this cancer can be tamed by medication."

"Kemo, is what you mean." Lisa huffed.

"And if its kemo I have to have, then kemo it is. Lisa stop biting your nails." Lisa dropped her hands to her side again. She wqished this would be over. The door to the room opened and a nurse came in followed by Dr. Morgen. He was a handsome doctor and quite young. This was worth the wait, Lisa thought.

"Well, Mrs. Henley. How are we this morning?" He asked as he looked through her charts. She told him she was fine and feeling much better when he sat down.

"Your tests came back and I would like to discuss them with you." He looked over at her daughters then back to Mrs. Henley.

"Oh no, they stay." She smiled. Jenn stood up next to her sister. She crossed her arms over her chest preparing herself.

"We have good news and bad news." He continued.

"Bad news." Mrs. Henley said with no hesitation.

"Ok, bad news is we start you on kemo next week." Jenn closed her eyes trying to hold in the tears. "Good news, your cancer is treatable and as long as you follow what your told, you will live a long happy life."

"You mean once the kemo is done?" Lisa said sarcastically.

"Kemo does have its bad side effects. But in the end your mother will be alive. And I think that's the most important part of this whole ordeal, yes?" He asked Lisa.

"What exactly is the type of cancer our mother has doctor?" Jenn asked.

"Lymphoma." Jenn and Lisa looked at one another like they had just heard another language.

"Well what is that?" Lisa asked.

"It's nothing!" Mrs. Henley interrupted. "I want to go take my tests and go home. I don't want to be here longer then I need to." Dr. Morgen stood up and headed to the door.

"I'll get you ladies pamphlets on this specific cancer. And you Mrs. Henley I will see in a few moments. Ms. Rush, would you please prep Mrs. Henley for her tests?" He asked the nurse. The young girl nodded her head and began to take items from the drawer. The girls looked at their mother who was smiling back at them. If only it was that easy to be happy. Jenn thought.

* * *

Jenn needed some fresh air. Watching her mother go through those tests was too much for her mind to bare right now. The house wasn't far from the doctors office so Jenn decided to walk home. Her mother protested, insisting that she get in the car. Jenn knew that her mother would get her way if she didn't just start walking. She heard her sister talking under her breath about how stubborn she could be as they got in the car. Jenn waved and smiled as her sister drove away.

She pulled her coat tighter around her chest. The air was cold and the sky was starting to turn a light shade of gray. She took her time as she made her way into town. She needed cigarettes. Bucklin's convenient store was only a couple of blocks away. She walked more quickly now realizing how much she needed that wonderful cancer stick she had made one of her best friends. The day had gone by slow, her mind completely focused on her mother. But now as she walked alone, nothing but quiet around her, her mind began to drift to the one thing she was trying to forget.

It had been over a week since her reunion with Billy. She tried everything not to think about him or how she felt when she saw him. But it was hard, he was so different. His appearance was of someone completely different. The way he looked at her, that icy stare giving her chills throughout her body. It was like looking at a complete stranger when their eyes had met for the first time. Emily tried to warn her, tried to make her leave. But why didn't she warn her when he first changed into the monster he seemed to become. Jenn shook her head as she walked up to the store. It didn't matter anymore. She was there for her mother, not Billy.

She walked into the store and headed straight to the counter. Mr. Bucklin had died several years back. Her mother had attended his funeral. His son and daughter took over the store and business was bigger then ever.

"What can I do for you?" The clerk asked. Jenn smiled.

"Pack of Parliament Lights please." He nodded his head and grabbed a pack from above the counter. After paying she quickly went outside to light one. Inhaling deeply she closed her eyes as she exhaled the white cloud.

"Jennifer Henley?" A males voice with a Irish brogue called from behind her. She turned quickly recognizing the man staring back at her immediately.

"Conner!" Jenn almost yelled. They both opened their arms embracing one another into a tight hug. She hadn't seen Conner since High School. "How are you?" She asked as she pulled away. He was still just as handsome as she remembered.

"Well, I'm fine. What the hell are you doing back?" He asked, his accent heavy. Jenn blushed as she listened to him. She had always loved his accent.

"I had to come back. Family problems." She smiled. She didn't want to get into anything about her mother with anyone. "How's your brother?"

"Ah, Murphy is still Murphy." His blue eyes sparkled as he looked back at her. Jenn had heard all the rumors over the years about the name Conner and Murphy had made for themselves. They were two killing machines that ran most of South Boston. People around town sworn them to be saints for cleaning up the streets of all the scum that polluted it. But most knew the real truth for their actions. To gain power and earn respect of all the locals and authorities. They had complete control of everything they touched. Yet Jenn looked at Conner right now and couldn't see anything but the handsome Irishman that once asked her out.

"Well it's good to hear some things never change." She said her face falling into a saddened stare. Conner caught on to this right away.

"I'll take a guess and say, you've seen Billy?" Jenn's eyes shot back to his.

"Seems like everyone knew but me."

"You've been gone a long time Jenn. Things change. People change." He shot her his perfect smile.

"You don't seem like you've changed much."

"Well, this may seem a bit forward but, maybe we can go for drinks tonight and catch up on how much I _haven't _changed." His smile grew. At first she wanted to say no. She wanted to tell him she wasn't in any mood for a night out. But then Billy's face flashed in her head. That hateful glare he had given her.

"I'd like that." She said smiling wider then before. Conner pushed his hand deep into his coat pocket and pulled out a pen. He grabbed her cigarettes and wrote his number on the top of the pack.

"Call me and let me know when you want to be picked up." He handed her the pack then kissed her on the cheek. "It was great seeing you again. I've missed that beautiful face." He winked at her making her blush.

"It was great seeing you too." Conner turned and walked away, looking back a couple of times before he got into his car. He pulled away fast making a sharp U-turn. He stopped short across the street from her and rolled down his window.

"Don't forget to call me, or I'll just show up at your mothers. I still remember where she lives." He smiled at her before driving away. Jenn's smile was permanent on her face.

* * *

"Billy, please…just listen to me," the man begged as Billy stood over him. He lit a cigarette blowing the smoke into his swollen face. The man coughed his eyes not leaving Billy's. His eyes widened as a light reflected off his face. He could see the cool metal shine as Billy moved it above his head. _Crack_! Billy slammed the gun he was holding across the mans cheek. A deep gash formed, blood oozing out slowly. Several men standing behind Billy let out a snicker. "I didn't say anything, I swear!" The man yelled blood, sweat and tears falling down his face. He had been there for hours, enduring any punishment Billy could think of. It had been brought to Billy's attention several days ago that one of his own was now an informant for another crew. A crew he had been in war with for some time now.

"You fuckin' did!" Bodie yelled as he stood next to Billy. "You're the only mother fucker that knew about our plans." Bodie hissed, his teeth clenched as he picked his arm up sending it back down across the man's face.

"God, please…Billy I'm beggin' you. I didn't say anything. I was set up!" He was crying, like a sobering baby. He knew his fate crossing Billy. But he did it anyway thinking he would get away with his indiscretions. Billy smirked his face barely being seen from the shadows. He heard him with his own ears, how could this piss ant lie right to his face. Beg for his life while lying right threw his teeth. Billy didn't care how much he begged or pleaded. He was a dead man.

"Eddie!' Billy hollered over the man's constant begging. His voice was loud but Eddie didn't stop. He continued with his begging and pleading. Billy was now becoming impatient lowering his head as he placed his hands on his hips. He took several deep breaths threw his nose, closing his eyes he tried to stay calm. When he lost control everyone suffered. He had too many things to take care of tonight. He didn't have time to be crazy uncontrollable Billy. "Eddie." He said more calmly. His eyes opened, his head still down he looked up at him.

"Just fuckin' pop his ass Billy. We ain't got time for this piece of shit!" Heco yelled from behind him.

"Billy, I'll do anything. Anything I promise. You need to believe me." Eddie began to hyperventilate. He was a good asset to his growing society. His mistake was easily resolved, but losing Eddie would be rough on him, at least for a little while. But how could he let Eddie go? People would start to think Billy actually had a heart. That the stories of his past were true. He worked too hard to have that taken from him. Without anymore hesitation Billy picked his gun up, aiming at Eddie. Billy didn't even look his way as he fired five shots all hitting Eddie in the chest. He started to gargle the blood pouring from his mouth as he stared wide eyed at Billy.

"Get rid of this." Billy nodded to Eddie as he spoke to Heco and Tommy. They quickly checked to see if he was still alive. Once Heco nodded his head and smirked the two men untied his arms. Billy walked out of the room and headed down the long hall to the exit. Bodie was in his shadow following him out the door to his car.

"Where we goin' dog?" Bodie asked. Billy growled under his breath not happy about where he needed to be. Bodie's eyebrows went up as looked around. He now knew exactly where they were going. "Great, just the fuckin' place I wanna be."

* * *

Bodie looked out of the window into the night. It was quiet over here at night. Something he missed. He sighed as he checked the time on his phone. Billy had been in there too long. He was giving him five more minutes, if he didn't show face Bodie was going to suck back any fear he had and go get his friend, dead or alive. A shadow was moving quickly out of the small building that read "Bones Body Shop". He couldn't make out who it was as his body stiffened. He reached down his hand sliding onto his gun and he prepared himself. His heart rate went up, his adrenaline pumping. You never knew what to expect when Billy had to go see Bones. His eyes squinted as he looked through the windshield. Billy's angry face could be seen as he walked under the street lamp. Bodie sighed to himself as he let go of his pistol. Billy climbed into the car. His heavy body sat hard in the seat making the whole car shake. He shoved his hands hard into his pockets trying to find his cigarettes.

"Fuckin' son of a," Billy started then stopped when his hand gripped the almost empty pack. He ripped a cigarette from the pack throwing it in between his lips. He lit is quickly taking a deep drag he sighed.

"I got something stronger then that in my pocket." Bodie said almost laughing. Billy looked at him from the corner of his eyes. He started the engine and put the car in gear.

"Spark it up." Billy said before he sped away.

* * *

"I could drink you under the table!" Tommy yelled slamming his glass down. Joe laughed pouring them both another shot.

"I'm not talking about sperm here Tommy boy." Everyone laughed. Even Billy gave a small smirk. Tommy smacked Joe in the back of the head making him laugh even more knowing he got under Tommy's skin. Something he enjoyed as often as possible.

"You guys are disgusting." Emily spat as she grabbed her beer. She took a couple of swigs then placed it back. She could feel Billy's eyes on her as he took a shot of whiskey.

"So Em, you think you can give me Jenn's number so I can give her a call?" Emily's eyes widened. She took a few quick glances over at Billy who was looking hard at Joe. Joe ignored him like he usually did and kept his eyes on Emily.

"Um, yeah I guess so." Emily put her beer to her mouth again. She really needed to get drunk,. Jenn hadn't spoken to her since that night leaving Emily depressed. She didn't mean to hurt her. Telling her about Billy was only going to make things worse. It didn't take long after Jenn left for the difference in Billy to surface. It was always there like they all knew. She was the only thing keeping him level, keeping him from becoming the only thing he never wanted to be, his father.

"Alright," Joe said smiling. He missed Jenn more then anyone knew. Especially Billy. After Jenn left Joe felt alone, even with his brother at his side at all times. Jenn was his escape from the world he was creating. She was only a teenager and five years older then him but she was the only mother he ever knew. "Who feels like getting' their ass handed to them in a game of pool?" He was still avoiding Billy's eyes. He knew the look he was giving him. Without having to put his eyes his way he knew the intensity in the glare he gave. He knew he was mad. How could he not be. This was Jenn they were talking about.

"I'll kick your ass Joey." Tommy said a serious look on his face as he rose to his feet.

* * *

"Oh my God I remember him like it was yesterday." Jenn laughed placing her hand on Conner's arm. His smile widened seeing it there rested gently on his shirt. She was laughing so hard thinking about the teacher they had together in senior year. "his glasses, God that hair."

"And that heavy Boston accent that I swear he didn't even really have. I bet he wasn't even from here." They both laughed thinking of the times they shared in the class. Conner had picked her up from her house at eight. He told her not to get dressed up, they were just having a casual night. They went out to eat at a new restaurant that was built only a few months back. It was nice, but there is nothing like your local diner to enjoy a great meal. After, they went to the best pub in all of Boston. McGinty's. The only place Conner and his brother ever went to. They moved from Ireland to America to live with their grandmother when they were younger but didn't go to her high school until Junior year. She met Murphy first. They were lab partners in science. Jenn was amazed at how smart they were. And very religious. From the look of the tattoos on Conner's neck and hand, he was still religious. She scanned his entirety as he smoked a cigarette. A smile still on his face as he looked down at the ashtray.

The door to the pub flew open, two men flying in with their mouths open with laughter. One with his Irish brogue started yelling Conner's name. Conner's back was to him a bigger smile on his face then before. Jenn recognized him right away. Murphy looked the same. His face maturing a bit, but he still had that same look. He was even the same height that Jenn had remembered.

"Conner you bastard! There you fuckin' are!" Murphy was clearly drunk, his words slurring a bit as he spoke. Conner turned to his brother giving him a hug. Murphy patted his back as he looked over at Jenn. His smile was still there as he narrowed his eyebrows.

"Could it fuckin' be?" Murphy pulled away from his brother leaning closer to Jenn. She could smell the booze as he put his face only inches from hers. Her smile was unsure as she looked from Murphy to Conner. Conner laughed at himself seeing how uncomfortable she looked.

"He won't bite." Conner said nodding to Murphy. Murphy's eyes squinted, his smile bigger as he leaned even closer.

"Well that is, unless you want me too." Murphy winked at her, his voice deep and low. Jenn wasn't sure if he was being serious or not. Her face clearly showing her feelings, Murphy started to laugh as he pulled himself up. "I'm only fuckin' with you Jenn!" He pulled a seat up the table and sat down. "How the fuck have you been?"

Jenn was finally starting to feel drunk as she took another shot with Murphy. Man could he drink. She grabbed a cigarette and lit it laughing at herself as she tried to keep her hand straight. Murphy poured another shot as Jenn shook her head no. He pouted his mouth making Jenn feel the need to give in. She shrugged her shoulders then downed the glass. The pub was clearing out as the clock was hitting three. It was open until the early morning but half the people were drunk and went home. It was a comfortable feeling being with these two. She started to remember the rumors she had heard and decide to voice them.

"So," she started as she waved her cigarette in Conner's face. "I have to say, being with you two all night is making me second guess all the shit I have been hearing." Conner and Murphy looked at each other then back at Jenn.

"Oh really, what've you heard?" Murphy asked. Jenn giggled a bit.

"Well, the two Saints as I've heard it. The McManus twins saving the streets of all the icky things in the world." Jenn was definitely drunk. The brothers laughed.

"What exactly are you second guessing?" Conner asked giving her his best smile. God was he handsome.

"What kind of Saints kill?" She said flatly. Conner's smile decreased but didn't entirely leave. He leaned closer to her so the few left in the bar couldn't hear. Murphy shifted in his seat, his smile no longer there.

"I'm going to put a nice image in your head. Then after, you tell me what kind of Saints kill." Jenn shifted nervously in her seat. The crazed look in Conner's eyes was something she didn't expect.

"Your walking home alone minding your own business when WAM!," He smacked his hands together making her jump. "You get grabbed from behind and dragged into an alley where several men take their turn at ya." This conversation was making Jenn uncomfortable. "After their done your battered body is left, helpless and naked. Or your mother is getting into her car and some jack off puts a gun to her head and takes her purse which she willing gives, and he still feels the need to put a bullet in her head." Conner's face turned deep red as he spoke. "Or maybe the little girl at the end of your block gets offered a taste of ecstasy for the first time by some drug dealer with a gun. No one wants those kind around. We make sure they leave. Sending them packin' won't do shit. But ending their pathetic excuse for lives will." he leaned back taking another cigarette and lighting it. He took a couple of drags before he spoke again. "There's no other way, only to exterminate the problem will make the problem go away and never come back. You ask what kind of Saints kill, the kind that want to protect the good people in this world."

Jenn was speechless. She didn't agree with anyone dying, not even the bad people in the world. But something he said made sense. Murphy could see her eyes watering as Conner's words sunk in. He sighed knowing what he was about to say was going to make her feel worse.

"Have you seen Billy?" Jenn snapped her head towards him. Her eyes wide. She nodded her head lightly as Murphy leaned forward. "Stay away from him Jenn. As far as you could possibly be."

"He's not only apart of the problem Jenn, he _is _the problem." Conner said, his voice calmer. Her jaw dropped as her eyes watered. Conner could see that this conversation was hurting her but he needed her to know. "Billy owns half this city. He runs everything that his father doesn't. Has a crew of assholes just as he is."

"He's feared," Murphy added.

"And more dangerous then you could ever imagine." Conner stated.

"So why is he still walking around?' Jenn asked as she wiped away a few tears. Conner laughed, Murphy joining. She looked up at them. She didn't see the humor in this.

"He's untouchable Jenn, he's proven himself more then one time what he's capable of. He has too many followers, too many people that would give their own lives for his." Jenn couldn't believe this was the same Billy she once loved.

"I've only seen him with a handful of guys." Jenn said her voice low.

"That's only his personal crew. He stretches much further then that Jenn." Murphy said. She wasn't feeling very well. She wanted to go home. Hearing this new Billy was making her stomach turn. She stood up and placed her hands on the table to keep from falling.

"I want to go home." Jenn said squeezing her eyes shut. The room was beginning to spin and she needed fresh air. Murphy stood up as he looked at his brother. He grabbed Jenn's arm guiding her to the door. Conner made a grunting noise as he stood up. Hurting Jenn's feelings was the last thing he intended. But the brutal truth was something that needed to be said. Billy Darley was at the head of their list of exterminations. Some day he would be able to get to him. But until then, he needed to keep Jenn as far away as possible.

* * *

Emily walked up the walk way to Jenn's house slowly. Her stomach was in knots as she stopped at the front door. She had been outside now for almost twenty minutes debating with herself if she should even talk to Jenn. She turned around quickly walking back to the street. This wasn't a good idea. Jenn was mad and probably didn't want to speak to her again. She stopped abruptly, looking back at the house. Shaking her head she turned back to the street and walked to her car. She took her keys out ready to place them in the door when she stopped again. She sighed as she put her hands to her side. She had to apologize, to tell Jenn why she lied. Emily turned a new confidence flowing through her when she stopped. Jenn was at the front door her eyes narrowed as she looked out at Emily. Emily held her breath unsure what to say.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jenn asked leaning herself against the door frame. She crossed her arms over her chest. She had dark circles under her eyes and her hair was a mess. She looked like she hadn't slk ept all night. Emily looked up at her taking a few steps closer to the side walk. She was playing with her keys her mouth open to talk. But she still couldn't decide what to say. "Emily, you've been out here for awhile now walking up and down the walkway. Care to tell me why?" Jenn knew why, but she wanted Emily to say it.

"Um, well I-I," she started but pulled her eyes from Jenn. She looked down at her keys wishing she could just say I'm sorry.

"Em," Jenn sighed. Emily looked up at Jenn who was nodding to the inside of the house. She turned and walked back in. Emily stood there looking at the open door. She took a deep breath before she walked up the walkway then into the house. She shut the door behind her and could smell the freshly brewed coffee. She slowly made her way to the back of the house into the kitchen. Jenn was sitting at the table her eyes connecting with hers as she walked in.

"Jenn listen," Emily started. Jenn waved her hand showing she didn't want to hear it. "No, you need to listen to me." She pulled the chair across from Jenn out and sat down. "I didn't mean to hurt you, or not prepare you for the worst. But I never thought you'd be here again. I never thought you would even see him again and I knew that if you knew what he had become you would have been on the first flight out to try and save him. What would have happened then?" Jenn looked away and shrugged her shoulders. "You would have either gone back to NY and been miserable knowing what he was, or never left again trying to make him something you want."

Jenn sighed as she turned to face Emily. "Your forgiven." She said, taking Emily off guard.

"What?" Emily's face scrunched in confusion. "Just like that?"

"Yes, just like that. I knew you only wanted to protect me." Jenn smiled through tired eyes. Emily smiled back happy that her friend forgave her. But something wasn't right about how she looked. It was a familiar sight, but something she hadn't seen in years.

"Do you have a hangover?" Emily's question took her off guard. The look on Jenn's face gave her the answer. "Oh my God, you do!" Emily pointed her finger in her face and smiled. Jenn waved her finger away and stood up.

"I don't know what your talking about." Jenn shook her head. "I don't get hangovers."

"No no that is so a hangover look. Where'd you go?" Jenn sighed knowing that she wasn't getting out of this one.

"McGinty's." Jenn said another sigh escaping her mouth. Emily's eyebrows creased, her smile still on her face.

"With who?" Jenn sat back down, two cups of coffee in her hand. She gave one to Emily then took a sip of her own. Emily sat patiently waiting for her friend to answer. Jenn was filled with air this morning because a long sigh feel from her mouth making Emily laugh.

"Conner McManus." Emily's smiled wide. Conner was the last person she would have seen Jenn with. She was smiling on the outside but inside she knew this wasn't he best idea. Jenn was no longer Billy's and hadn't been for some time, but if she was going to be on the arm of an enemy of Billy's she needed to be warned. This time she wasn't going to spare her feelings.

"So, how did that happen?" Emily asked, her face not showing her thoughts. Jenn smiled.

"I bumped into him at a deli. He asked me to go out with him and I said yes."

"Was Murphy there?" Emily wanted to ask about him the second she heard Conner's name.

"Yes he was. He showed up a little later on." Emily nodded her head. She didn't want to let on to her feelings for Murphy. Not yet anyway. She knew the consequences of talking to the McManus' let alone being with one of them.

"I know you haven't been around in awhile so you really don't know the shit that's happened around here, but Billy and his boys don't get along with Conner and Murphy. Actually it's a bit more complicated then 'they just not getting along'." Jenn nodded her head already knowing how the twins felt about Billy. "Just, well all I ask is that you be careful." Jenn's feelings about the twins was a comfort, some what content feeling. While Billy and his 'friends' made Jenn's fear rise. They looked like thugs that woke up in the morning looking for trouble, looking for something wrong to do. This still confused Jenn. How could someone who was so perfect, end up so scarred. Every inch of him being an imperfection. Jenn shook her head slightly.

"I just went for drinks Em. I'm not looking for anyone. So don't worry about me." Jenn had said.

"We never are looking for anything, when we find something." Emily winked at her. She looked down at her newly bought watch and sighed. "I have to get going, but maybe I was thinking you can come by my place tonight. Watch a few movies get a bit tipsy and maybe stay the night." Emily smiled wide, her perfect teeth gleaming as she stood that way for several seconds until Jenn answered.

"Sounds tempting," her smile grew a bit seeing the strain Emily was having keeping the smile on her face. "Fine." Emily reached out and hugged her friend."Come around nine. I have work this afternoon," she said as she rose to her feet and started for the front door. Jenn followed slowly the shuffling of her slippers against the floor grew louder. They said their goodbyes and Jenn forced herself to shower. She smelt like an ashtray with a hint of stale booze.

* * *

Several hours later Jenn pulled into her mothers driveway and stopped. She looked over at her sleeping mother. The side of her forehead was pressed against the window. Her mouth open slightly, Jenn could hear the faints sounds of snoring. She laughed at herself wishing she had a camera. "Mom," she said touching her forearm. Her mother wasn't in a heavy sleep. She jumped looking around franticly. She was confused with her surroundings. Something that happened to anyone who was as tired as she was. "Those pills really do a number on you huh?" Her mother nodded her head as she rubbed her temples. They both climbed out of the car and headed up the walkway. Jenn's head was down watching the ground as she walked. She didn't notice the man that was approaching her. She didn't hear his steps until it was too late. He reached out grabbing her shoulder. She screamed as she turned to see her maybe attacker. Joe jumped back, his hands in the air his eyes wide.

"Jesus Jenn! You scared the shit out of me!" He yelled threw short breaths. Jenn threw her hand over her chest as she bent over trying to catch her breath. Joe's hands slowly fell to his side. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a beat up pack of cigarettes. He lit one quickly trying to hide his shaking hands from her. Mrs. Henley laughed as she walked into the house.

"What the hell Joe?" She stood straight, her hand still over her chest as she took several deep breaths."I called your name when you first got out of the car. When you didn't hear me I ran over, but I didn't mean to scare you. Shit, you scared me half to death with that fuckin' scream of yours." He laughed as he shook his head.

"Watch your mouth Joey!" She sternly said. "Why are you here anyway?" Joe's eyebrows narrowed, confused by her question."What," Joe started. He looked at her as she stared blankly back at him.

"Why do you think I'm here?" He shifted his weight. "I tried calling you, but you don't ever answer your phone. I wanted to see you." He tried to smile at her but her face stayed the same."You wanted to see me?" She laughed to herself. "Why, so you could smile at the damage you caused?" Whatever smile was on Joe's face dropped like a weight. He couldn't comprehend what she meant. She read his thoughts by the look on his face. "Great, that's right," she waved her hand at him. "Let's act like we don't know what I'm talking about."

"What're you talking about Jenn? What damage have I ever caused you?" He was always an emotional person. But having a family like his he needed to keep it in all the time. Right now he was trying his hardest to keep in his pain.

"Have you seen what he looks like? What he acts like?" Jenn hissed.

"Who?"

"Billy, Joe! Your brother!" Now he was really confused. How was she blaming him for what Billy had become, when he knew it was her leaving him that made him no longer care.

"You think I had something to do with Billy becoming what he is?" He pointed to his chest as he took a step closer to her. His anger was taking over his pain.

"I know you had everything to do with it!" She started walking away when Joe grabbed her arm.

"Are you crazy!" His voice rose. "Billy told me you just picked up and left him. That you wanted to start a new life in New York, by yourself!" Jenn's eyes widened as she looked back at Joe. She pulled her arm free as she turned to face him.

"You're a liar. You always got yourself into some shit and needed big brother Billy to bail you out. Drinking and doing drugs. Stealing from Bones every chance you could." She yelled. Joe put his hands to his hips as he gleamed down at her. The Darley stare was showing clear. "You only cared about yourself, never about him. Now you have what you always wanted. What your father always wanted. Billy to be everything he was trying not to be." Joe stood his face filled with shock. What was she talking about? He remembered it like it was yesterday.

_"Billy!" Joe yelled from the corner of his block. He could see his brother taking quick strides across the street. He could see the cell phone to his ear and just assumed he left something back at their apartment. "Yo, Dems I'll see ya later." Joe told his friend before he jogged to his brother."Yo Billy boy!" Joe yelled. Billy stopped walking as he hung up the phone. His back was to Joe as Joe starting to walk. "What the fuck man, what're you doing here!" Billy turned slowly his face red and sweaty. His baseball cap was pushed up showing his sweat soaked hair._

_"You better stop fuckin' cursin'." Billy said. He sniffed, something Joe knew he always did when he was upset about something. _

_"Sorry," he didn't like the look in Billy's eyes. He had seen the look before. "Don't you have plans before you go?" Joe asked as Billy looked around uncomfortably. "Aren't you supposed to be with Jenn and her mom?"_

_"Looks like there's been a change of plans little bro." Billy said wiping the sweat from his forehead._

_"What's that mean?"_

_"Means I won't be leaving with Jenn." Billy spat. He was now looking at his little brother. His eyes narrowed. "She has ideas and plans, and none involve me." Joe could see the hurt in his brothers eyes. _

_"So that's it? She just leaves and you stay here? After all the planning…."_

_"Enough!" Billy yelled making Joe jump. "Who fuckin' needs her!" Billy turned around quickly on his heel. Joe watched his brother walk away. He didn't know what had happened, but he knew his brother was hurting._

"I remember very clearly Billy telling me you ditched him, pushed him away for a better life." Joe said through clenched teeth. Jenn looked like she'd been slapped.

"You bastard!" She yelled. "Your selfish acts is what made him stay behind. You fucked up again and he couldn't leave you, afraid Bones was going to have his fun making you pay him back!" Joe shook his head, he didn't believe her. Billy wouldn't lie to him.

"Anything to take the blame off yourself. You left him! Helped him create this monster!"

"Get out!" Jenn yelled. "Get off my property, your not welcome here. Because of you I lost the only person I ever loved, and God forbid you have the decency to admit it!" Joe turned to leave his head spinning with thought. He looked back at Jenn who was chasing him off the lawn.

"You know what, I fuckin' missed your stupid ass!" Joe yelled over his should. "Ah, who fuckin' needs you!" He waved his arm in the air as he shouted one last time before he crossed the street. Jenn's eyes were pouring tears now. She turned and made her way up the walkway and into the house.

* * *

"I'm so happy you showed! I was almost thinking you wouldn't." Emily said as she moved out of the way to let Jenn in. She had cleaned up the place, adding some decent décor to liven the place up. Jenn smiled knowing she went through the trouble to impress her. Something she knew she didn't need to do, but chose to anyway.

"The place looks great." Jenn had said. Emily sat down on the couch, Jenn following. She had set up the coffee table with drinks and snacks. Just like they did when they were younger.

"So I went to Blockbuster and rented like five movies. All of which you will enjoy greatly." Emily smiled.

"Well lets get this party started shall we?" Jenn asked laughing. She decided against telling Emily about her altercation with Joe earlier. She figured she would find out eventually but at least she wouldn't have to explain the situation, something Jenn hated doing.

They were on their second movie, having a Johnny Depp marathon when there was a loud knock at the door. Emily sighed as she got up and walked to the door. She didn't expect visitors tonight. But the way the guys were, they could show up at anytime. She opened the door and looked at Joe. He had a stupid grin on his face and his hands were behind his back.

"What're you doing?" She asked. His smile widened as he pulled his hands in front of him. A brand new bottle of spiced rum was staring back at her.

"I know its your favorite." He said. Emily looked over her shoulder at Jenn who was heavy into watching Johnny prance around in a pirate's uniform. Emily looked back at Joe. His eyes were narrowed as he looked at Jenn.

"What's with the face?" She asked as she leaned to one leg.

"What's she doing here?" He nodded his head towards Jenn.

"Are you serious?"

"I gotta go." Joe turned to leave when Emily grabbed his coat.

"What the hell is going on?" She insisted.

"Ask Ms. Fuckin' perfect over there." He said as he stopped. Emily looked back at Jenn quickly who was now looking her way. Jenn's eyes were narrowed as she rose to her feet. She was trying to see past Emily.

"Who is that?" Jenn asked as she walked to the door. Her eyes widened as she walked in front of the door. "Ms. Fuckin' perfect!?" Her voice rose. "You have some nerve Joe." Emily looked back and forth between the two. They both looked pissed and Emily needed to know why.

"What is going on with you two? You haven't seen each other in years and this is how you act!" She said as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"She's hatin' on me because she swears Billy didn't leave Boston because of me," He laughed to himself as he stood up straight looking down at Jenn. "But we all know the truth, she couldn't handle having a relationship anymore and bailed. Bailed on all of us!" He leaned closer to Jenn as he said the last words. Emily looked confused. Joe had to have known about Billy's decision to stay behind. Billy wouldn't of kept him in the dark all these years.

"Joe," Emily looked at him her eyes scanning his face. "Are you seriously saying Billy never told you why he didn't go to New York?" Emily's face dropped when Joe's looked confused.

"What?" Joe asked. Emily took a step forward placing her hand on Joe's chin. She pulled his face closer to hers.

"Joseph, what did Billy tell you?" He tried to pull his face away but Emily quickly stopped him. "What. Did. Billy. Tell. You?" She asked again. Joe looked over at Jenn then back into Emily's eyes.

"He said she didn't want him anymore." He said in a whisper. He was beginning to realize that this wasn't really what happened. Emily wouldn't lie to him. And neither would Jenn. Even if she was gone for all those years.

"He lied to you sweetie. He didn't want to hurt you. It was easier telling you a lie then letting you know why he really wasn't leaving." Emily said in a calm voice. "You stole a gun, do you remember? Bones told Billy you were dead when he found you. He couldn't leave and Jenn couldn't stay," Joe pulled away from Emily's grip. He looked over at Jenn who now wore a sympathetic look.

"Joey, I'm so sorry," Jenn started. Joe grabbed her into a hug. His grip tight on her. She hugged him back, missing every inch of him. He was the only brother she had ever had. She loved him like one and missed him like one.

"I didn't know Jen," he said his voice trying to hide his emotions. "I didn't know. I'm sorry."


	4. Chapter 4

Joe looked at his brother from the corner of his eye. Billy was counting their earnings for the night trying his hardest to be done before Bones left for his little vacation for the weekend. Billy didn't want to worry about one of his crew skimming off the top, so to avoid the possibility he wanted to give Bones his money now. The room was smoke filled and smelt of ammonia from the meth lab down the hall. Joe hated coming here. The smell alone was enough to keep him away, but the idea of getting a contact high off the shit they sold gave his stomach a turn. Billy was getting used to the smell. He would get used to anything that brought money him. Especially free money.

Billy sighed, his irritation getting the best of him. Where the fuck was Bodie? He counted the money faster and more thorough then Billy. Joe watched his brother thinking of the best way to bring Jenn up. He knew better then to ask questions about Billy's life, but this - well this was something that affected him too.

Joe waited patiently as he watched his brother place the counted money into a brown knapsack. A cigarette hanging loosely from his lips, Billy turned to Joe. He threw the knapsack hitting Joe in the chest. He caught it as he let out a huff from the impact.

"Go wait in the car." Billy demanded.

"Why?" Joe asked. Billy raised his eyebrows. "Because I told you to go wait in the fuckin' car. That's why." Billy turned back to the table he was working at, he began separating some filled baggies. Joe turned. After taking several steps to the hall he turned back around abruptly.

"Why'd you lie to me about why Jenn left?" Joe couldn't believe the words poured out of his mouth so easily. But he needed to know. He could see Billy stop what he was doing. He raised his head slightly. Joe's heart was pounding. He didn't know if he was more afraid of Billy getting mad or telling him the truth. The only movement by Billy was the slow rise of his cigarette smoke as it rose in a thin wavy line.

If Joe had been in front of Billy he would see the crazed look on his face. He was staring at nothing, breathing heavy. The rims of his eyes turned red, his eyes glazed over. His lips pursed tightly, his face turning a nice shade of red. He sniffed loudly before he turned his entire body around to face Joe.

"What the fuck are you talkin' about?" Billy said coolly. His face still red, and it didn't matter to Joe how calmly he talked. He knew his brother, and he was angry.

"I saw Jenn at Emily's last night. We had a long talk. Seems like she thought it was because of me you stayed behind. Didn't have the life you were supposed to have together, because of me." Joe was angry. He would meet his brothers stare now. Billy grabbed the cigarette from his mouth. He looked down at it, playing with it between his fingers as his eyebrows went up.

"Doesn't really matter now," He looked back up at Joe. "Does it?" Joe shifted his weight. He looked at his brother a few more seconds before he turned and stormed down the long hall. He burst through the door to the outside and ran down the stairs. Ripping open the door to the mustang he threw his body in, slamming the door behind him. Billy always knew how to make everything feel worse for Joe. Maybe this was why he was always so hard on him. He secretly blamed him for the life he had. For not having the only person he ever loved with him. Joe's hands balled up into fists. A few squeaky grunts escaped his throat as he tried not to lose his temper. He wanted to cry, to scream to break anything he could get his hands on. But he could control himself better then Billy. At least for the most part.

* * *

"Murphy, dammit she's a girl and she's kicking your ass!" Conner yelled from across the bar. He was standing up and laughing as he pointed to his defeated brother. Emily's smile grew as she walked sexy past Murphy. He scratched his chin, his eyes staring at her assets. He was now the one sporting a big grin.

"That boy is letting her win. I know it!" Conner said as he sat back down. Jenn laughed at herself knowing Conner was right. Him and Emily had been flirting with one another the entire night. Passing glances when the other wasn't looking. It reminded her of high school and apart of her was enjoying it. Conner poured another shot for Jenn. She accepted it.

"Thanks for inviting us out tonight." Jenn said smiling cutely at Conner. He reached over moving a stray piece of hair off her cheek.

"No, thank you for coming." He said. Her cheeks turned a light pink as she bit on her bottom lip. Conner was very attractive and Jenn was feeling really good. She had made up with Joe and closed that book on her past. It made her feel better knowing they were friends again. Now, sitting here with Conner her night was complete. She wasn't looking for a relationship. She wasn't even looking for a "nice night". But at this moment, neither sounded bad.

"So tell me Conner, why doesn't an attractive man like yourself, have a girl on your arm?" Conner laughed as he looked around the packed room. His eyes fell back on Jenn. They examined each other for several seconds before Conner spoke.

"You know the saying right? Just haven't found the right one yet." Jenn laughed smacking him in the arm. Conner looked at her confused. Still the smile he wore was big. "What's so funny?"

"Any girl would kill to have you, I'm sure of it. Why haven't you tested them out to see who's the right one." Conner leaned back.

"Whoah! I never said I didn't have test runs." He laughed. "I am human, but I don't see the need to have any of them on my arm. Only someone special belongs there." His smiled fell a bit as he looked Jenn deep in her eyes. A chill ran up her back and down her stomach.

"Why the fuck are you two so serious?" Murphy yelled as he sat down. Emily sat across from him laughing. Jenn was the first to pull her eyes away giving everyone a uncomfortable smile. Emily could see that look in Jenn's eyes and knew exactly why they were quiet. She smiled to herself.

"Go get us some more beers." Conner ordered with a smile. Murphy shrugged his shoulder and walked over to the bar. Seconds later he came back with four beers.

"So, she beat you huh?" Jenn asked Murphy. He laughed looking back at Emily.

"Rematch, anytime." He stated. Emily gave him her best "bring it on" face.

"I'm drunk and I still kicked your ass!" Emily said. Everyone laughed including Murphy. He normally wasn't one to let a girl get away with acting this way. He would usually walk away and find someone else to hit on. But there was something about Emily that he couldn't get enough of. She was beautiful and funny and she could drink with the best of them. She was also half Irish which was a major plus in his book. Emily stared back at Murphy. It wasn't just the alcohol. She wanted him. She had always wanted him, even back in high school.

"I have to use the ladies room." She said her eyes not leaving Murphy's. She rose to her feet and walked to the back of the bar. Murphy watched her as he downed the rest of his beer. He looked over to his brother and Jenn.

"I'll be back." He said then rose to his feet. He couldn't walk fast enough. Jenn wasn't paying much attention to them. Her mind was more focused on Conner. She wanted to know more about him. More about his likes and dislikes. This wasn't exactly the place to have a talk like that and she wasn't in the best condition to keep up with a conversation like that. The liquor was starting to take its toll on her.

"You ok?" Conner asked. He noticed the look on her face right away.

"I'm fine, just - well, I'm drunk." She laughed at herself.

"That means you had a good time." Conner said as he lit a cigarette. He looked down at his watch then back up at Jenn. "It's getting late, maybe you and Emily should head home. Wouldn't want you hung over tomorrow." Jenn smiled wide at Conner. It was amazing to her to have someone like him being such a gentleman.

"I have to use the little boys room." Conner said as he rose to his feet. Jenn smiled at him. She waited until he was no longer in view when she opened her cell phone and called a cab. She didn't want them driving them home and she knew they would insist on it.

Conner made his way to the back of the bar and disappeared down a hallway. He smiled at himself thinking of Jenn as he opened the door to the men's room. He stopped short as he watched his brother and Emily. Emily was propped up on the sink, her legs wrapped around Murphy's waist. They were ripping at each other, moans and grunts escaping them both. Conner crossed his arms over his chest a smirk across his lips.

"Whatthefuckareyoudoing!?" Conner yelled making Murphy lose his balance. Emily screamed as she almost fell to the floor. Conner's laugh was so loud he knew people in the bar must have heard. Emily smiled and starting laughing knowing how she must have looked. Murphy cursed Conner under his breath.

"It's not fuckin' funny!" Murphy yelled. Emily fixed her jeans and her shirt as she started to nod her head.

"Actually, that was kind of funny." She said. This made Murphy more irritated. She looked up between the brothers and made her way to the door. "I'm just…well I'm going to leave." She was still smiling as she walked out of the men's room.

"In the fuckin' men's room?" Conner asked as he took his stance in front of the urinal. "Really? The men's room Murph?" Murphy shook his head and sighed.

"Yeah, the fuckin' men's room, alright?" Murphy snapped back. Conner laughed and shook his head. Murphy was cursing again as he washed his hands. Nothing worse then not getting to finish what you start. His cell phone vibrated in his pocket making him even more mad.

"What?" He yelled after he ripped it open. "Fine, we're coming now." Murphy closed his phone and opened the door. "Rocco says we better get down there. That fat bastard is meeting with his crew." Conner knew who his brother was talking about. He finished what he was doing then followed his brother back into the bar. They looked more serious now as Jenn noticed them walking to the table.

"We have to go, can we give you girls a ride?" Conner asked. Murphy and Emily were smiling at each other.

"No, I called a cab." Conner almost looked insulted. But he didn't have the time. He needed to leave.

"Ok, well you call me as soon as you get home. If I don't answer just leave a message." Conner bent down and kissed Jenn on the cheek. "You both better be safe." Murphy walked up to Emily and kissed her on the mouth. Jenn watched as Emily kissed him back. The twins said goodbye again then left the bar. Jenn stood up then put her coat on.

"What the hell was that all about?" Jenn was drunk but she wasn't blind. Emily just smiled giving her answer with her eyes. "Your such a whore!" They both laughed as they walked out of the bar. The night air was cold on their hot faces. Jenn closed her eyes taking in a few deep breaths. She loved this weather. She opened her eyes and could see the smile still on her friends face.

"So you like him huh?" Jenn asked. Before she could answer Emily's eyebrows scrunched together as she heard the faint sound of a car engine. Why did that sound so familiar? Could be anyone, she thought to herself.

"Yeah, he's awesome." Emily said. Now the sound was getting louder. This time she could hear tires screeching from around the block. Jenn grabbed Emily's arm as she looked up the block.

"You ok?" She asked. Emily didn't answer. She turned around. Her heart was pumping as the headlights came into view. It couldn't be. He wouldn't come to this neighborhood. Jenn looked past Emily, her eyes squinting from the brightness of the lights getting closer to them. She couldn't make out the car but whoever it was, was making Emily shake. She could feel it as her grip tightened around her arm.

The black mustang came to a screeching stop a few feet past them on the sidewalk. Jenn and Emily took several steps back. Billy jumped out of the car and stalked over to them. His cold stare was on Emily.

"Get the fuck in the car." He barked. Emily didn't think twice as she ran past him and jumped into the back seat. Billy was walking straight to Jenn. Her eyes were wide with confusion. She could see his hot breath forming clouds of smoke as it hit the cold air. He reached down, grabbing her arm. His grip was tight sending pain up her arm. He dragged her to the passengers side. He flung the door open and pushed her in. She had no time for protest. It all happened so quickly. Jenn looked back at Emily, her eyes asking what the hell just happened. Emily shook her head. Her eyes were watering as she leaned further back in her seat.

Billy jumped in the car and sped off. Jenn pushed her back against the passengers side door. He was speeding and swerving in and out of lanes. He was in a rush, to where? Jen had no clue. She wanted to ask him but she was now feeling what Emily looked like. Scared out of her mind. She could see the muscles tensing in his jaw. His nostrils were flaring, his eyes wide and darting around. He looked crazy.

A few minutes later he was speeding up a long driveway with a big white building at the end of it. He stopped short inches from the steps that led to the building, sending Jenn and Emily flying forward. He jumped out of the car seconds after shutting the ignition. He reached in the back seat and grabbed Emily's arm. She ran past him and up the stairs. Jenn didn't know what was going on and now she wasn't feeling as drunk anymore. He slammed the door making Jenn jump and stalked over to the passengers side door. Jenn leaned as far as she could away from the door, but this didn't stop Billy from reaching in and grabbing her. He pulled her out of the car and slammed the door.

She looked around into the darkness as she was being pulled up the stairs and into the building. She couldn't see anything. Suddenly an overwhelming odor suffocated her. She coughed before covering her mouth with her hand. Billy's grip tightened on her arm. She tried several times to pull from his grip, but he was too strong. They walked down a long hall and a flight of stairs before she could see Emily again. She was standing next to Joe her arms wrapped around herself. Joe's eyes were wide as he watched his brother drag Jenn past them. Bodie was there too, his head down not looking at Jenn. She was now more frightened then before. She tried again to pull from Billy, this time making him mad. He grabbed her with both arms and pushed her in front of him.

He didn't stop pushing her until they were inside, what looked like to Jenn, a chapel. She stopped struggling and looked around. It was broken down and old. Decrepit statues hug from the ceiling. The pews were broken and old and a musty cold smell was filing her nostrils. She jumped as Billy slammed the door behind them. She turned to see him staring at her, his eyes wide his head low. His breathing was heavy as she watched his chest cave up and down.

Everything in her froze. She looked around again and knew the only way out was behind Billy, and there was no way she was getting past him. Her heart was about to pound right out of her chest. It was as cold in that room as it was outside but she was sweating. She took a few steps back. She wanted to yell at him. Tell him the nerve he had kidnapping her. But the look in his eye let her know better.

"What the fuck do you think your doin' hanging out with them?" He said as he took a step closer.

"What?" Jenn snapped. Billy sighed deeply taking several steps closer to her. She didn't move as he stepped in front of her now.

"The fuckin' twins!" He barked making Jenn jump. "You got some fuckin' set being with them." He hissed through clenched teeth. She looked back him confusion written across her face. What was he implying? They weren't together anymore. They weren't even friends. Who was he to dictate who she associated with.

"We're not together anymore Billy. It's obvious you don't even like me." She swallowed hard. She was the one shaking now. "What's so wrong,"

"It's fuckin' disrespect!" He yelled at her, cutting her off. His face was inches from hers. He could see her breathing increase. Even with her stomach twisted with nerves. Even with her palms sweating and her body shaking, she knew she couldn't let him talk to her like that.

"I want to go home." She demanded taking a step forward trying to get past him. He sidestepped blocking her from leaving. He laughed to himself. "Billy, I'm not screwing around. Move."

"Your not fuckin' going anywhere." He said, his teeth clenched again. Jenn looked in his eyes, not recognizing what she was seeing. He was scaring her and he didn't care. A loud knock was at the door and Joe's voice could be heard. Billy ignored him as he continued his staring contest with her. Joe knocked a few more times before he opened the door.

"Billy!" He spat. Billy didn't even flinch. "Your scaring her to death. Enough!" Jenn's eyes watered. She blinked several times trying to stop the tears. She looked over to Joe then back at Billy. He took a step to the side letting Jenn pass. She took off trying to get to Joe before anything happened when Billy grabbed her arm. He pulled her face close to his. His mouth brushed up against her ear. Her body quivered.

"If I find out you see either one of them again, their blood will be on your hands." His grip tightened. "Don't fuck with me Jenn." His teeth were clenched as he whispered. As soon as he let her go she ran out of the room and past the wondering eyes. Joe was behind her trying to catch up with her.

"Jenn, wait!" Joe yelled as he chased her down the outside stairs. She stopped in front of Billy's mustang. She was having trouble breathing and the tears were flowing down her face. Joe grabbed her pulling her close to him. He could feel her shaking as he hugged her tighter.

"Why did he do that?" She sobbed. "Who is he?"

"Let me take you home." Joe walked her to Billy's car. He helped her in the shut the door. He walked around the car.

"Dammit Billy." He whispered to himself. He drove her home in silence. He couldn't understand why Billy was going out of his way to hurt her. To make her hate him.

"We're here." Joe said as he pulled up to Jenn's mothers house. She had fallen asleep during the drive and Joe didn't want to wake her. She slowly opened her eyes as she focused on her surroundings. Her stomach was turning as she straightened her back.

"Thank you Joe." She whispered as she opened the door. He lightly grabbed her arm.

"I just don't think he knows how to handle you being back." Joe said trying to justify his brothers actions. Jenn smiled at Joe.

"Thank you." She said before leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. Joe watched her climb out of the car and slowly walk to her door. She turned and waved at him before she entered the house. She didn't even undress before she fell on her bed. Slowly the nausea was gone and she was fast asleep.

* * *

Jenn had woken up earlier then she had expected. Her mother was downstairs making breakfast and talking on the phone. When she caught a glimpse of Jenn she told the person on the other end to hold on.

"Honey, your boss called. She said to check your email there is a story she would like you to look over next week. She said," Jenn's mother grabbed a sticky pad from the refrigerator read what she had written. "It's a second series by Madeline Arthur but it doesn't need to be reviewed for another month, so you have time. She just figured she would send it before she left for vacation." Her mother looked back at a blank Jenn. She wasn't chipper in the morning like her mother was, and it showed right at this moment.

"Thanks." Was all she could say. Jenn's mother shrugged her shoulders and continued her conversation. She grabbed a mug and filled it with coffee. Adding her favorites she started to drink it slowly.

"Yes, Madeline Arthur. Yes." Her mother said. A smile across her face. "Yes my Jennifer reads her work and fixes all the mistakes before it gets published. Isn't it exciting?" Jenn smiled a little to herself. It was exciting.

"Dammit," Lisa yelled as she ran in the house. Mrs. Henley looked over at her frantic daughter. She was wrestling with papers and rummaging through draws in the kitchen. Jenn watched her sister as she almost lost her balance as she reached on top of the refrigerator.

"What are you doing?" Jenn asked.

"Looking for my car keys." Lisa said.

"Their in that bowl on the table by the front door." Their mother pointed towards the door, her attention still focused on her phone call. Lisa sighed as she walked over to the table and reached into the oversized ceramic bowl that sat slightly to the left. She pulled out the keys and dangled them in front of her face. She walked back into the kitchen and grabbed a mug. After pouring herself a cup of coffee she sat across from her sister.

"You look like death." Lisa said. Jenn shrugged her shoulders. "So is this your new thing?"

"What?"

"Getting drunk every time you go out."

"I'm sorry, when did you push me out of _your _hole?" Jenn asked sarcastically.

"Jennifer Diana!" Their mother yelled. "Watch your mouth please." Jenn looked up at her mom and sighed.

"Sorry." She mumbled before taking another sip of her coffee.

"What crawled up your ass?" Lisa asked. Jenn looked over at her mother again. When she could see her deep in conversation again she looked back at Lisa.

"I saw Billy again last night." Lisa's eyebrows went up. This was sparking her interest. She leaned closer. "I don't know how, but he found out where I was and basically kidnapped me and took me to this disgusting place to order me to stay away from Conner." Jenn had filled her sister in on Conner several times already.

"Oh my God!" Lisa whispered. "Then what?"

"Nothing," She shook her head. "Joe drove me home."

"Well now what?"

"What do you mean?" Her sister could be so difficult sometimes.

"I mean," Lisa started. She looked over to their mother noticing her voice was getting louder. "Are you going to still see Conner?" She now was whispering again.

"I don't know." Jenn said as she looked down at her cup.

"Do you still have feelings for Billy?" Lisa asked flatly. Jenn's eyes shot back to her sister. Her brow creased as she stumbled on an answer. She knew she didn't care for the Billy he was now. But the Billy she left all those years ago, she still did love.

"No!" Jenn shook her head several times. Her eyes never meeting her sisters as she drank her coffee. "I definitely do not having any feelings for him." Lisa looked at her sister with questioning eyes.

"Are you trying to convince me you don't still care for him," Jenn looked back up at Lisa. "Or yourself?"

* * *

"I feel so bad about last night," Emily said on the phone. Jenn had called her cell to see if she was free for the night. Emily, as usual was working. "I still don't know who told him we were there."

"Doesn't matter. What time are you getting off?" Jenn asked.

"In about an hour. You feel like picking me up?" Emily asked almost already knowing the answer.

"Sure." Emily almost fell off the stool. She was not expecting Jenn to agree to go anywhere near The Four Roses after Billy's little stunk last night.

"Ok, well then I will see you soon." They said their goodbyes. Emily shut her phone and placed it back in her apron. She walked around the counter and started stacking the beers when someone sat at the bar. She turned quickly hoping for a decent tipper when her face froze. Billy's hard stare was burning through her.

His eyes still on her as he reached in his pocket and took out a cigarette. He lit it quickly, his eyes still staring at her through the fresh smoke.

"Who was that?" He nodded towards her. Emily kept her eyes on him. He scared her more then anyone else ever had. His glare, his menacing glare he used to make his point was daring her to lie. She didn't want to give it up so easily.

"What are you talking about?" She said as she reached over grabbing a rag. She started wiping down a dry countertop when Billy grabbed her arm. Pulling her closer he rose to his feet. Their faces only inches apart her spoke.

"I want you both here tonight." he hissed. Emily winced as his grip grew tighter.

"She's not going to want to stay here." She whispered.

"Make her." He loosened his grip as he backed away. Emily's heart was in her throat as she watched Billy stalk out of the bar. Several times over the past few years he had put her in tears, but right now the tears she was fighting so hard to keep back were of pure fear.

* * *

Jenn looked around as she walked across the dark parking lot. There was not one single car there other then her own. She opened the door to the bar and slowly walked in. The place was empty, but the music was loud. She walked up to the counter and looked behind it.

"Emily?" She said as she turned around.

"Hey, your early." Emily said with a smile. Jenn slightly jumped, putting her hand to her heart she laughed.

"You scared me." They both laughed. "I'm not that early." She said looking at her cell phone for the time. She was early, but only by twenty minutes.

"I'm waiting for Baggy's sister to get here then I'm done."

"Good, I was thinking we can go catch a movie." Emily stopped in her tracks. Billy's words replayed in her mind. She knew the consequences if she didn't obey him.

"You know what?" Emily said taking her apron off. "How about we just hang out here tonight?"

"Your kidding right?"

"Well no. Free drinks and plus I don't feel right leaving Emma by herself. She's used to being here when her brother and the guys are here. Since their not here yet-"

"Will Billy be here?" Jenn said. Emily shook her head no. Jenn sat for several seconds trying to decide if being in Billy's territory was the best decision. She let a deep sigh. "Fine, I'll hang out here, but _only _for a little while and _only _if you promise Billy won't be here." Emily wasn't sure if he would show up or not, but she had to do whatever it took to make her stay.

"Scouts honor." Emily raised her two fingers in the air as she straightened her back. Jenn laughed at her friend then took a seat at the bar. "Drinking?"

"I'm driving so I shouldn't." Emily grabbed a shot glass and filled it with Jack Daniels.

"I won't drink so you can." She pushed the glass in front of Jenn. "I'll just crash at your place tonight." Emily smirked. Jen shrugged her shoulders and threw back the amber liquid letting it smoothly slide down her throat. The door to the bar opened. A pretty blonde came in, a phone to her ear she smiled at Jenn and Emily as she made her way to the back of the bar. Seconds later she came out, all of her things put away she wrapped the apron around her waist.

"Hey Emma girl." Emily gave the girl a hug. She smiled big giving Emily a hug back. She looked over at Jenn and smiled.

"Your even prettier in person then in pictures." Emma said. Jenn smiled a light blush across her cheeks from the compliment.

"What pictures did you show her Emily?" Jenn asked nodding for another shot. Emily's brow creased as she poured the whiskey.

"I haven't shown her any pictures." They both looked over at Emma who was trying to avoid their eyes.

"Uh-," As soon as Emma spoke the doors to the bar busted open. Baggy, Spink and Heco came in, each a girl on their arms laughing at nothing as they all walked to the back of the bar. Baggy caught a glimpse of Jenn winking at her as their eyes met. A nervous feeling fell across her stomach. If they were there, Billy wouldn't be long behind. She snapped her head towards Emily.

"Hey, I said Billy wouldn't be here. I never said his boys wouldn't' be. They practically live here." Emily said trying to hide her own nerves. Jenn wasn't in the mood for another argument so she grabbed her bag and stood up. Emily's face dropped as she looked passed her. Jenn instantly knew who was standing behind her. She held her breath as she turned around. Inches from her face was Billy's. His jaw was tight, his lips pursed as he glared down at her. She was only a few inches shorter then him but she almost felt like she was staring up at a giant. A mean angry giant.

Several seconds past, their eyes not leaving one another's. Finally Jenn, gripping her bag tight, started to walk past him. Their shoulders collided as she stormed her way to the door. He grabbed her arm pulling her back to him. He placed his face close to hers again.

"Where're you going?" He hissed.

"Far away from you." She said through clenched teeth. She winced at the tightness of his grip.

"You running to Conner?" He said a smirk on his face.

"That's none of your business." His face hardened again.

"I told you to stay away from him." He barked. His voice deep. Jenn had enough. Who was he to dictate her life. Last time she checked he was no longer in it. She pulled as hard as she could out of his grip.

"If you wanted such a say in my life you should never have left it." She tried again to walk past him. This time he walked in front of her. His entire body blocking her exit. She was side stepping, from left to right trying to get past him. He followed her lead stepping in front of her each time. She knew he wasn't going to let her go. She sighed knowing this was no use. She gave him one last hard glare before she turned around and walked back to the bar.

"Hey Emma," Jenn plopped her body down on a stool as she tried to get Emma's attention. She was talking to her brother on the other side of the bar when she looked over to Jenn. The place was starting to fill up and the music grew louder. Jenn watched Billy walk up to his friends from the corner of her eye. He was greeted like he was their king. It wasn't completely strange seeing him this way. Billy was always the leader, no matter who his friends were.

"What can I get you?" Emma asked breaking Jenn from her unknowing stare at Billy.

"What-oh," she closed her eyes for a second. She had forgotten what she wanted her for. "Oh, yes anything strong." Emma smiled at Jenn then turned to pour her a glass of Jack. Jenn laughed to herself. This was their weakest and strongest liquor here. She grabbed the glass and started drinking it. It was burning her throat but if Billy wanted to hold her hostage, then he was going to have to deal with her as a wasted hostage.

"What are you doing?' Emily whispered into her ear as she sat down next to her.

"You promised." Jenn pointed her finger at Emily.

"I didn't know. I really didn't think he was coming here tonight." Emily wasn't lying. Billy usually was out until later. "What the hell are you drinking?"

"Something stronger then beer." Jenn said taking another sip from her glass.

"Why?"

"Because Billy won't let me leave. And I need something to help me deal with this shit." Emily sighed as she rose from the seat and made her way to the table Billy and his boys were occupying. Billy was laughing when she reached the table. He placed a cigarette in his mouth as he coolly looked up at Emily.

"What?" He said as he lit his cigarette.

"Why are you making her stay?" Emily crossed her arms over her chest.

"Now, that's not your concern, is it Emily?" He smirked up at her. Emily turned quickly heading back to Jenn. He was useless to talk to. She needed to keep a close on her tonight. She was going to drink herself stupid.

Several shots had passed through into Jenn's system as she was starting to finally feel relaxed. Bodie and Joe had shown up to the bar after their night of "work" was over. Joe had sat with her most of the night keeping away all the drunk fools that made their way around her. Bodie had sat with her too, even getting her to play a game of pool. The entire time Jenn shot Billy as many glances as she could. Showing him that the game he was playing wasn't hurting her at all.

She was enjoying another song on the radio and another shot with Joe when suddenly she needed air. Joe noticed right away something wasn't right.

"You ok?" He asked grabbing her arm. She nodded her head as she climbed to her feet.

"I need to go outside." She whispered in Joe's ear. He nodded his head and took her hand. Billy watched from the pool table as Joe walked a very drunk Jenn out the door. He looked back over at the bar, still seeing her coat and purse he knew she wouldn't be going anywhere.

"Thank you." Jenn said as she leaned against the wall. She was smiling to herself as the cold air hit her hard. It felt good and the warm spinning feeling was gone. "I need to just stay out here for awhile."

"No problem." Joe said lighting a cigarette. He knew from the past Jenn loved to drink. She loved getting drunk and having fun. He smiled as he watched her smile to herself. He wondered what she was thinking. "You like being home?"

"No." She said grabbing the cigarette from Joe's mouth. She squinted her eyes as she inhaled. "You know, your really cute." She said raising an eyebrow at him. He laughed taking the cigarette back from her.

"And your really drunk."

"Yeah," she shrugged her shoulders. The door to the bar flew open. Bodie, Spink and Heco walked out Billy right behind them.

"Hello ladies." Bodie said grabbing Jenn into a hug. He really did miss her. Jenn hugged him back laughing at his comment. Bodie looked over at Joe and smiled.

"Har har, asshole." Joe said clearly annoyed.

"What the hell are you doin' out in this cold, girl?" Bodie asked.

"It feels good." She said. Jenn glanced over at Billy. He was leaning on his side against the wall lighting up a cigarette. His eyes dead set on her as she looked back at Joe.

"You better get me back inside Joe before my keeper gets mad." She said in a mocking tone. Joe looked over at Billy.

"She's drunk bro," Joe grabbed Jenn's arm and started for the door.

"So what if I'm drunk," Jenn spat as she stopped, pulling her arm from Joe's grip. "Oh that's right. Nobody wants to get 'big bad Billy' upset." She mocked again. This time laughing at herself. Billy straightened himself. He cracked his neck looking hard down at Jenn. The men all glanced at each other unsure of what they should do.

"Every, inside." Billy barked. Jenn huffed at herself and started for the door. Billy stood in front of her stopping her from leaving. "Not you." He almost whispered. Joe looked at Jenn then back at Billy when Bodie grabbed his coat pulling him to the door. Jenn could hear them mumbling something, but she couldn't make out the words. She sighed leaning herself up against the wall. Billy turned his head watching as the men piled back into the bar. When the door was shut he looked back down at Jenn. He leaned down closer to her. She stiffened as he began to talk.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" He hissed through clenched teeth.

"What?" She said narrowing her eyes at him.

"Nobody fuckin' talks to me like that." He leaned closer. "Nobody!" Their faces were so close Jenn could feel his breath on her. She couldn't say what it was but something came over her and a question passed through her mind and she wanted an answer for it. They say alcohol gives you confidence you wouldn't normally have. And right now at this moment was a perfect example of it.

Without any further thinking Jenn wrapped her fingers around the back of Billy's neck. She pulled her face to his, crashing her lips against his. At first she could feel Billy get tense but quickly he relaxed sending his tongue into her mouth. For several seconds they deeply kissed each other until Jenn pulled away. She was slightly out of breath as she fell back against the wall. Billy stared down at her trying to catch his own breath. His eyes were narrowed as he looked at her confused.

"What the fuck was that for?" He barked.

"I just wanted to know if it was the same." She whispered.

"What?" He said raising his eyebrows.

"Everything is so different about you, I just wanted to see if that part of you could still be the same." He looked back at her his face turning red. He was breathing heavy, his face twisting with anger. Jenn watched him as he stormed back into the bar. She quickly put her hand to her mouth. Squeezing her eyes shut she held her breath. It was exactly how she remembered it. His lips were still soft, his kiss still perfect. She opened her eyes, the water falling to the corners. She let out her breath slowly as a tear fell down her cheek.

Jenn walked back into the bar and headed straight to her seat. She didn't notice Emily sitting next to her until she placed her hand on her arm making Jenn jump.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Emily said. "What the hell happened out there?" Jenn looked up at Emily her eyes glazing over again.

"Some things stay the same Em." Jenn whispered. She looked at the end of the bar at the table of thuggish men. There in the middle of the rowdy crowd Billy sat. His eyes were wide and his brow creased. His jaw line looked tight and his nostrils were flaring. His chest was caving in and out rapidly but no one other then Jenn noticed. She watched him knowing his mind was racing with the same memories that flooded her own.


	5. Chapter 5

_Billy pulled his jacket tighter as he walked along the streets of Manhattan. A crumpled piece of paper in his hand with Jenn's new address written on it. He memorized what she wrote and really didn't' need it, but he still held it tightly n his hand. A small backpack thrown over his shoulder he walked faster. He couldn't wait to hold her. To look into her eyes again. To feel her love for him. How could he ever be so foolish letting the only person who felt anything for him feel pain. Pain that he himself caused. Joe was being himself no matter what Billy did. Why waste his life away trying to protect someone who didn't care about himself or anyone else. It was early when the plane landed in Jersey. He took a cab to Manhattan dropping him off at her apartment. She wasn't home and the only place he could think of was her school. It had_

_been a few months since they had spoken, but he knew that the second she laid her eyes on him she would be just as happy as he was. Butterflies flew recklessly in his stomach making his need to see her worsen. This was where he was going to start over, start a brand new life like they had planned. He smiled to himself as he got closer to her school. He had asked for directions a while back and refused to forget them._

_Her school was now in view as his heart pounded. He jogged the rest of the way. One thing Billy didn't have, was patience. Closer he got to the large set of stairs that flowed across the entire front of the building. Several students walked passed him, some sitting on the steps others going in and out of the building. One group of students caught is eye right away. There were several people standing up and a few sitting down laughing and talking. The girl sitting in the middle of it all, her long brown hair pulled back in a neat ponytail. Her face so perfect and sweet. Jenn. He stopped walking, not because he didn't want her to see him, but because he just wanted to savor the sight of her. He smiled to himself as he watched her have a serious conversation with one of the girls she was sitting with. Slowly her smile grew as Billy watched her. She started to laugh. He missed that laugh. It was a real meaningful laugh. The type of laugh that made everyone else laugh. He chuckled to himself. She was just as beautiful as she was the last day he saw her. He wouldn't even say a word when he walked to her. He would just grab her and kiss her as deeply as he could. Let the whole world know how much he loved her.Jenn's face turned a pale pink as one of the guys she was talking to sat next to her. She grabbed the ends of her ponytail and twirled it with her finger. She looked at her feet as he talked, a small childish grin across her face. Billy's smile slowly faded away as he watched the love of his life do the same uncomfortable flirting she did with him the day he asked her out. Her fingers kept twirling her hair faster and faster until the guy whose attention she had, grabbed it. She giggled and looked away. _

_The sweet happy expression that was placed on Billy's face was replaced with a twisted, more sinister glare. His eyes glazed over as his entire world came crashing down. She was fine without him. She was smiling and happy - and flirting. She had moved on and it was now too late. Billy wouldn't let himself be known now. He would make a fool of himself. Billy's stomach turned, his face feeling like it was on fire. His fists clenched at his sides. His chest was hurting, his head pounding from the anger he was feeling. He was having trouble breathing as his chest caved in and out. He looked back at the girl he loved and felt nothing but hate. Nothing but a new sour feeling that sat deep in his belly. He turned away, never wanting to look at her face again. _

Billy stared at the ceiling as old memories soaked his mind. He sat up quickly reaching over to his nightstand for his cigarettes. He lit one and leaned back against the wall. His covers moved as the naked blond that was sharing his bed started to wake. She had been sleeping for hours, something he normally didn't let happen. Once he was done - _he was done_. But this time his mind was on something else. No matter how much he drank or how much drugs he did, the other night was still poisoning him. Jenn kissing him, her lips on his again. At that moment, if she hadn't stopped he would have had her right there under the dull lights that lit the parking lot, for all that passed to see. He wouldn't have stopped. He couldn't. But she pulled away from him, snapping him back into reality. Into the real brutal truth. That he completely hated her."What time is it?" the girl whispered as she pushed her self up into sitting position. Billy coolly looked over at her his eyes falling on her body. She huffed at herself when Billy didn't answer. She reached on the floor and grabbed her bag. She pulled her phone out, her eyes widening at the time.

"Fuck, Billy!" She got up and started to dress. "Since fuckin' when do you let me sleep, now I'm fuckin' late." She hissed. "Rossco's gonna have my damn head." She mumbled. She threw her form fitting dress on and grabbed her heels. She stood in front of Billy, one hand on her hip the other in the air, palm up. Billy looked up at her, his eyes heavy. He reached down into his jean pocket and pulled out a small clear baggy filled half way with a powdered substance. He slammed it in her hand. She looked down at it her face twisted with anger."Your fuckin' kiddin' me right?" She grabbed the baggy with her other hand examining it closer. "This is all I fuckin' get?""You'll get paid better, when you do your fuckin' job better." He barked. Her eyes widened and her mouth tightened. She turned around and stormed to the door. She opened it and looked back at him.

"Well, if that's the fucking case, why are you my best customer, Billy boy?" She said with sarcasm. Billy shot her a hard look. She smirked at him one last time before she slammed the door behind her. Billy sniffed, his eyes wide. Who did that bitch think she was? He didn't have time to dwell on a whore. Now that his head was clear again he needed to go deliver some money to Bones.

* * *

Billy pulled up to the gate guarding Bones' Body Shop. He climbed out, his eyes scanning the place before he proceeded any further. He knew never to trust the man. Even if he was there to deliver, Bones could take him out at any time. He had made that very clear over the years.

He walked his most intimidating walk as he made his way into the building and past some late night workers. They all knew Billy and knew not to fuck with him. But they also worked for Bones, which meant they had someone more powerful then him at their side. He nodded his head at some as he walked by. Bones' office was open and he could hear laughter coming from inside.

"If it aint' the fuckin' Nazi himself." Bones laughed as Billy entered the room. Billy could tell he was drunk and the petite brunette sitting on his desk _had _to be drunk to be there, with Bones.

"_What the fuck_, are you doing here?" Billy threw the brown bag he was carrying on the table. Bones looked down at it. He pulled his glassed off, switching them with another pair. He opened the bag and looked inside. He glared up at Billy, his shiny face glowing bright under the lights.

'What the fuck is this?" He asked. Billy straightened his back.

"That's our night." He said, his hand gesturing towards the bag.

"Your fuckin' night isn't over yet. I know this because I was outside and it isn't morning' yet." Billy pulled his head back slightly, his eyes peering down at his father. He didn't' say anything as Bones sighed before he started counting the money. After Bones looked more then satisfied he leaned back in his chair. Billy had worked hard for once. But Bones wasn't a commendable

father. He only got that warm happy feeling in the center of his belly when he made his son feel like shit. And Bones knew something that would make Billy want to drown himself in a pile of whichever drug he was doing this week.

"I hear your girlfriend is back in town." Bones said. Billy glared at his father.

'I didn't know you had a girlfriend Billy." The girl on the table spoke.

"No… I'm sorry. That's right. She's your ex- girlfriend. Couldn't hold on to Jennifer, could you. Not man enough I'm sure." Billy was holding his lips together so tightly they were hurting. "Yeah, my Billy over here would be something by now if he would have made a different choice in life. But if she really wanted you Billy, she would have waited." He smirked up at his son. Watching the redness creep up his neck, Bones knew his job was done. He reached over grabbing his original glasses and put them back on. His friend hoped off the desk and right into his lap. Bone moved her head out of his way and peered at his son.

"You _can _get the fuck out of here." Billy sniffed before he grabbed the bag off the table. "Keep putting that shit up your nose Billy. You'll be dead from that before your dead from anything else." Billy turned and headed back to the door.

"Speaking of dead," Bones continued. Billy slowed down waiting to hear what else his father had to say. "I hear Jennifer's back to take care of her mother." Billy turned his head slightly. His interest showing. "Cancer from what I'm told." Billy continued to walk out of the room and down the long hall.

He didn't think she was back for him. He hadn't thought about why she was back much at all. But now hearing it's because her mother was dying was making this situation worse. Then to hear it from Bones of all people. Billy cared for Jenn's mom like she was his own. Why hadn't he known she was sick?

* * *

The day was too nice to just stay in. Climbing in her mothers car Jenn drove to the boulevard, planning on spending the day clearing her thoughts from the one thing that had been on her mind for days. She wanted to regret kissing him. Letting herself be that vulnerable. But she didn't. To feel him that way and then look into those cold eyes didn't make sense to her.

Billy had become something she couldn't help. A person who was so broken, so many pieces missing, she knew there was no putting him back together. She had to push him as far back in her mind as he would go. The pain she was feeling for him was taking over her every thought and it wasn't like her anymore to be that weak.

She had done exactly what she planned. Shopped half the day away. Buying gifts for her mother and even for her sister. Buying things she knew she didn't really need, or even want. But that didn't matter as long as it helped erase his name.

Grabbing her many bags tightly she headed back to her mothers car when someone yelled her name. She knew right away who the someone was. Her heart raced as she tried to make believe she didn't hear him. He was persistent, just like ever other man in her life. He jogged to her repeating her name.

"Jenn," he said as he stood next to her. "I know you heard me." Jenn turned at a smiling Conner. She smiled back, something she couldn't help. His eyes sparkled from the bright sun above. She could feel her knees getting weak being that close to him.

"I'm sorry Conner, I'm just in a fog today." She smiled again.

"Ok, I'll forgive this one time. Where you going?" he looked down at her bags. He leaned over to grab one when Jenn pulled back. She looked around quickly trying to see if any prying eyes were on them. Conner looked at her suspiciously.

"I'm sorry, I've got them. And uh - I'm heading back to my car." She turned to walk, Conner right next to her. Her stomach was filled with excitement and nerves. She loved being this close to him but knew that others hated it.

"So, how's life been treatin' ya Jenn?" Conner asked in that Irish brogue that still, after all these years still made her weak.

"It's been, well let's just say it's been different." She said.

"Different yeah?" Jenn nodded her head. She didn't want Conner to leave, but she knew it would be a bad idea for him to stick around.

"Well, there's my car, right there." she said trying to point her finger from under one of the bags. Suddenly as if God himself was trying to make this happen, the wind picked up making her hair wrap around her face. Conner noticed this right away. He reached over to her lightly pushing the loose hair behind her ear. Jenn watched him as he did this, her heart fluttery from his touch. She smiled cutely at him, her face looking innocent and beautiful. After several seconds of staring into each others eyes Conner brought both of his hands up placing them on the sides of her face. He pressed his lips against hers. Jenn couldn't think. She just allowed him to kiss her. It was deep and meaningful, sending sparks flying between the two of them. Jenn wasn't sure how long they were kissing, but when Conner pulled away she didn't want to open her eyes. She was lost in him.

"I'm sorry," Conner whispered as he slowly let his hands fall. Jenn opened her eyes.

"Don't be sorry." Jenn could barely get the words out.

Across the street Bodie watched. His eyes wide. He had to blink to try and focus on what he just witnessed. Jenn had been warned once already to not see Conner again. If Billy knew about this - embrace - he would lose it for sure. Bodie watched as Jenn and Conner walked to her car. After talking for a few more seconds Conner kissed her again. This time Jenn giving as much as she was taking.

Bodie waited for Jenn to leave and for Conner to be no longer in view when he stepped out of the deli. He shook his head knowing he had to tell Billy, be the one to break the news that his threats did't seem to be penetrating. He walked down the block until he reached a white van. Jumping in, his cell phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He sighed after seeing the number on the screen. He knew if he didn't answer Billy would keep calling until he did.

"What up dog?" Bodie said as he placed the phone to his ear.

"Bodie you fuck, where the fuck are you?" Billy said.

"Had to collect some money." Bodie said as Spink pulled away.

"Well get your ass to the bar. We're starting early today." Bodie could tell Billy had thrown a few back already.

"Alright, we're on our way." Bodie hung up not looking forward to his conversation with Billy.

Spink stopped short in a spot in The Four Roses parking lot. Bodie jumped out walking to the entrance of the bar. Ripping open the door, Bodie's eyes adjusted to the new environment. At the back of the bar in his usual spot was Billy. Bodie stood over Billy his arms crossed over his chest. He had to tell him, but didn't want to. Billy was laughing at some random joke Heco was trying to say when he looked up at Bodie. He knew that face all to well and his smile fell.

"What?" Billy asked. Bodie nodded towards the door then turned to leave. Billy downed his shot then rose to his feet. He lit a cigarette then headed out of the bar. Bodie was leaning against the wall, his head down.

"Dog, I got some news for ya," He couldn't tell him about the kiss, he wouldn't. Billy sucked on his cigarette, his cheeks caving in as he his eyes looked hard at Bodie. "I seen Jenn with Conner when I was pickin' up earlier." Billy ripped the cigarette from his mouth as he shifted his weight. Bodie looked up at him seeing the hateful expression Billy wore. "What happened?…" Billy asked, wanting to know everything. "He walked her to her car, that's all." Bodie lied. Billy started nodding his head. He had been made a joke, something that didn't sit well with him. He would take care of this in the morning. Now he needed something harder then a drink.

* * *

Apparently he wasn't making himself clear enough to Jenn that blood was going to be shed if she kept up her "friendship" with Conner. He knew what would come of their friendship and he would be damned if he let Conner have something that was once his. He needed to relay the message on his own. He wanted to be the barer of bad news. Billy drove his mustang to the only place he knew the McManus twins would be in the earlier afternoon. Doing what they did best - _drinking_.

The matching mustangs pulled onto the sidewalk in front of the small Irish bar. Billy and Bodie opened their doors, both climbing out almost in sync. Heco, Baggy, Joe and Tommy climbed out of Heco's car. All following Billy into the battlefield. Billy reached up grabbing his sunglasses off. His eyes scanned the bar. The place was empty minus the two old men at the bar. The bar tender noticed Billy and his crew right away. He knew exactly who they were and sent one his workers in the back. Several seconds later Conner and Murphy walked out of the back room.

Their faces grim as they both looked at Billy.

"What can we do you for boys?" Conner asked his face softening a bit. Murphy was still in the same stance. He was ready for a fight. Gun or fist, he was ready. Billy stared back at the twins a cigarette sticking out from in between his lips he glared at them through squinted eyes.

"I know you fuckin' heard him." Murphy spat. Conner put his hand up in front of Murphy, silencing him. Billy ripped his cigarette from his mouth glaring across the room at Murphy.

"You're here for a reason Billy," Conner crossed his arms over his chest waiting for an answer. He hated Billy but he wasn't like him. He would give them the chance to speak.

"Unfortunately, I have to take time from my busy day to come down here and remind you of where your place is in Boston." Billy bellowed. Conner's eyebrows raised, a small smirk grew.

"Why don't you just say what you came to say." Conner spat. Billy cracked his neck.

"Stay away from what isn't yours." Billy hissed. Conner stood a little taller, his eyes peering at Billy knowing exactly what he was referring to.

"Do I have to tell you where the fuck you are right now?" Murphy barked taking a step closer to Billy. Bodie jumped in front of Billy just to have Billy push him back. Billy's finger rose in the air pointing straight at Murphy.

"No, I'll tell you where the fuck _you _are," Billy's voice rose as he barked the words at Murphy. "Your in my end of the fuckin' sewer buddy." He looked back at Conner as he lowered his arm. "Now you better get that through your fuckin' head, because there's no more warnings." Several seconds passed as the two men stared down at each other. Testing to see who would make the first move.

The corner of Billy's lip curled as he turned to leave. Bodie continued his stare at Murphy until Billy pulled on his coat. Billy opened the door then stopped. He turned his body around looking back at the brothers.

"Fuck with me Conner, and I'll be comin' for some fuckin' family time." He said before he turned and exited the bar. Murphy's blood was going, his breathing erratic. Conner stood calm and cool as he watched Billy and his crew jump in their cars. Billy spun his tired causing the whole front of the bar to be covered in smoke.

The brother's stood together looking in the direction of where Billy and his crew had been. Their faces serious as they both were deep in thought. Ridding the streets of Billy Darley was the most important thing they had ever wanted to do. Now he came into their home and threatened their family. Waiting for the right moment was no longer a rule.

"Destroy all that which is evil." Conner spoke.

"So that which is good may flourish." Murphy added.

* * *

Emily climbed out of the car, a smile on her face as she made her way to the entrance of the bar. She couldn't stop thinking about Murphy all day. Jenn was in a good mood, Emily not sure why but she knew it had something to do with Conner. The sound of his name left her blushing. Emily knew that blushing face all too well. She looked back at her friend as she came up behind her. Emily turned to open the door but jumped at the sight of Murphy on the other side of the glass. He pulled it open quickly taking a step out. Emily and Jenn took a step back, their smiles fading at the crazed look on his face.

"Murphy," Emily started but his eyes fell on Jenn.

"Your fuckin' boyfriend was here today, barkin' orders telling us to stay away from you." Murphy said his eyes narrowed at Jenn.

"My boyfriend?" She asked confused.

"Yeah, Billy Darley. He was in our fuckin' bar, threatenin' me and my brother." He took a step closer. "I don't take to threats lightly Jenn. If a war is what he wants, a war is what he'll fuckin' get."

"Murph!" Conner yelled coming out of the bar. He grabbed his brothers jacket pulling him away from Jenn. "Chill the fuck out, man."

"Murphy…" Emily said again grabbing his arm. He looked at her his eyes narrowed as he pulled his arm from her. He turned and stormed back in the bar.

"Don't mind him. He has a hot temper and after our little meeting today, he's going to be in a mood for awhile." Conner said to Emily. Emily turned and headed back to Jenn's car. She was embarrassed and didn't want to be there anymore. Conner looked over at Jenn, his hand gently on her arm.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Conner asked, his voice kind.

"What, what do you mean?"

"Billy doesn't come outside of his territory unless if its important to him. Why would he come here himself to tell me to stay away?"

"I have no idea," she said. Conner smiled at her.

"Listen, just until this blows over maybe we should keep our time shared, for only the phone." Jenn shook her head not believing what she was hearing.

"Fine," she said before she headed back to her car. Conner didn't stop her or say another word to her. He watched her climb in her car and pull away.

Jenn's stomach was feeling sick thinking of Billy being there, threatening the twins the way he did. She needed to stop this. She needed to make Billy understand she wasn't going to play this game with him. She reached over grabbing her cell phone she dialed Joe's number. Several rings later he picked up.

"Hey sweetheart."

"Hey Joey," she sighed feeling bad to get Joe involved but she needed to find Billy. "Do you know where your brother is?" There was a short pause on the other end.

"Why?"

"Joey please. This is important." She could hear Joe sigh.

"He's at the office."

"The office?"

"Oh, right. You would know it as _the spot_."

"Your kidding me?" She couldn't believe he still went there. "Thanks Joey. I'll call you in a few." She drove to "the spot". A place that Joe had found when they were younger for them to hang out. A place that even Bones Darley himself didn't know about. Billy didn't like to go there at the time, but only did when he had to save his brother from a fight or get him because he was too wasted to leave himself. Jenn hated it. It was a run down hospital that no one would ever claim. Billy would always tell her that if he ever turned like his father that would be the perfect place to do his business._If he was just like his father? _She didn't realize how fast she was driving. They pulled up to "the spot" and Jenn jumped out of the car. She stopped for a second, looking around to see if anyone else was there with him. She could see Billy's black Mustang to the far right. The only thing his father ever gave him. Jenn walked up the stairs into the front door. She looked back to see Emily behind her.

"Where is he?" Jenn asked. Emily knew an awful lot about Billy and his men. She knew Emily had to know where Billy went when he came here.

"I'm sure the only place he would go if he's here by himself is in The Chapel." Emily walked in with her. _Why is he doing this shit to me? _She thought. They walked down a long hall to the stairwell. They began to jog up the stairs and up a few flights until they reached the third floor. They walked down a long hallway and could see lights ahead. The hall was dark and smelt of rot and mildew. Jenn was beginning to regret this mission.

"He's got to be in there Jenn. I don't want to go with you, just incase he makes a scene." Emily said as she stopped walking. Jenn didn't stop walking, but walked a little more slow. Her anger was now turning into fear. She made her way to the open doors and into the decaying room. She could see him. Sitting by himself with his head slumped over in the first pew. She walked in slowly.

"Billy," she whispered. Billy's body tensed up his head slowly rose as she walked next to him. His head snapped to her, his eyes narrowed. Jenn looked down at the wad of cash he had been counting.

"What the fuck are you doin' here?" He hissed, his teeth clenched.

"What am I doing here?" She asked her anger slowly coming back. Who was he to be asking questions after what he pulled. Billy rose to his feet his eyes burning into hers.

"Yes, what the _fuck _are you doing here?" He asked again his hands now on his hips.

"Maybe I'm here because you're a piece of shit. Who the hell do you think you are threatening Conner and his brother like that?" Billy huffed through his nose a small smile spreading across his lips.

"So the little bitch ran to you?" Billy asked.

"No, I went to see him and,"

"You what?" Billy yelled. "After I told you not to see him again."

"Jesus Billy, I'm not your girl anymore. Remember, you're the one who chose to stay behind. God damn it Billy. It was nine years ago. I've gotten over it, I've moved on," She sighed. "Why can't you?" Billy's eyes were wide. His lips tight as he stared at her. He started to breath more deeply as he reached up and rubbed his forehead.

"Your right," he said putting his hand in the air. He smiled but not a happy smile. It was more a sarcastic smile. "I shouldn't stand in your way of whorin' around."

"Excuse me?" Jenn almost yelled. She was the last person to be called something like that.

"That's all you'll be to him," Billy leaned closer to her. "His little whore." he mocked. His eyebrows went up. "Unless you are already." Jenn pulled her hand back slapping it across Billy's face. Her eyes started to water.

"For someone who didn't want to turn into his father, your doing a fucking hell of a job being just like him." She hissed. She turned to leave when Billy grabbed her arm.

"Don't you _ever _fuckin' do that again!" He bellowed as he jabbed his finger in her face. Jenn knew she crossed the line but she didn't care. He called her a whore plain and simple. She didn't deserve that no matter what he thought. His face was red as his grip on her arm tightened. "If you ever fuckin' do that again…" He growled stopping himself before he really lost it.

"Get off of me, your hurting me." She said looking down at his hand. She tried to pull from his grip but it was useless. "Get. Off." She said again. She grabbed his hand trying again to pull out of his grip. Billy was getting more annoyed as he pushed her back, her body hitting the wall behind her, his heavy body pressed up against hers.

"Jenn…' he started. His eyes scanned her face. Slowly the anger was fading. He looked at her eyes then her mouth. He remembered their last kiss outside of the bar. How amazing it felt to have her like that again, even if it was for a moment. Jenn noticed his eyes looking different. She didn't know what he was thinking until he licked his lips before they crashed onto hers. Why she didn't fight him off of her was a question she would later ask herself. Instead she melted into him. His body pressing harder against her as their kiss became wild.

His hands roamed her body as she pulled him closer. His kiss did feel the same making her body ache for him. He grabbed her face making their kiss deeper. Chills ran through her whole body making it impossible to think. His hand was cold as it made its way to her belly quickly pushing up her shirt. She could feel him on her now, her mind creeping back into reality. She didn't want to stop but she knew he was going to want to go all the way. She just didn't know if she was ready for that. His hands quickly made their way to her button on her jeans. He unbuttoned it and was about to pull down the zipper when Jenn pulled away. He narrowed his eyes at her his breathing heavy in her face.

"Billy, I can't." She said trying to catch her breath. She pushed him away slightly, their eyes not leaving each other. Billy ignored her as he pushed himself back against her his mouth on hers again, his hand back at her zipper. For a second she almost gave in. She didn't want this, no matter how much she was loving ever second of it. Billy had become something she didn't like. What would happen if they finished what they started?

She didn't say anything as she pushed him away from her, making her way past him and out the chapel door. Billy watched her leave and didn't stop her. He was out of breath his whole body on fire. He put his hand on the wall and leaned in trying to catch his breath. He would let her go this time. But next time he wouldn't be so nice. He wanted her again, and not only in his bed.


End file.
